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52 definitions by SomeBadJoke

 
8.
A new subgenre of metal which includes bands such as Korn, Slipknot, Disturbed, and various others from the late 80's to today.

Is often bashed and heavily criticized by "true metal fans" for being "mainstream", or for having "no talent"

These guys are just introducing a new metal sound, guys. Get over it. Many people like it, and that's why it became mainstream. I might not like some of the bands, but I don't call them "fake" because of that. They're just as much metal as Metallica or Slayer are, and just because they sound different doesn't mean they suck. It sure would be boring if all bands sounded the same, don't you think?

I like all kinds of metal - power, thrash, progressive, and even nu. Here are some examples: I like Slipknot but I don't like Slayer. I like Children of Bodom but I don't like Korn.

It's still that metal I know and love, so I listen to it. If I don't like a band, I just don't listen to it. I don't come here and call them fake. If I wanted to complain, I'd at least give good reasons for my complaint.
Idiot: omg liek nu metal sukks its soo fake lol omg lizzen to real metyl liek Metallica or Slayer lol roflz

Non-Idiot: Dude, just because it's a different genre doesn't mean it's fake. Just appreciate it or shut up about it.
by SomeBadJoke August 10, 2006
 
9.
A person who tries to fit in with the emo label just for attention or popularity (which doesn't make sense because emo people aren't supposed to be popular)

Anyway, here are some ways to spot an emo poser:

1. Act depressed 24/7, even when nothing is wrong in their lives
2. Cut themselves purposefully... and then show it to everyone
3. Must always adopt the complete emo look: dark dyed hair with sidebangs, very tight pants, an emo band t-shirt (like Hawthorne Heights) at least 3 items from Hot Topic, and of course, eyeliner
4. Has a rich family
5. Music lists ALWAYS include the following bands: My Chemical Romance, Hawthorne Heights, The Used, Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, AFI, and more
6. Throws emo song lyrics around on their myspace/xanga/livejournal/etc., usually as their display name
7. On the above-mentioned sites, include pictures of themselves with the typical myspace angle (weird camera aim which barely allows for the viewer to see the person except for their hair, or at least one of their eyes)
8. Only talk to people who look just like themselves (and may get rejected if they see how much of a poser he/she is)
9. Are anorexic or have some other mental disorder, usually involving their self-image (because all emo posers think they're ugly)
10. Complain about their "hard lives" all the time

In short, emo posers are the reason that everyone hates emos. They're the ones who act like this, so people think that all emos do it too. In reality, true emo people act like themselves, and the only way that they are all alike is that they tend to have a primarily emotional personality. That's it. It has nothing to do with being depressed or mental disorders, or listening to all the same bands, unless you have a good reason for being depressed, did not force the mental disorder on yourself, or listen to the bands because you actually like them.

Though, in reality, I personally do not like most of the bands. They're not in my taste. I'm not gonna insult them though. Only the people who listen to them just because everyone else does, AKA the posers.
Emo poser: omg I'm SOOO depressed, becuz liek look at my ristz their soo bloody huh?!1

Emo: What the hell? You obviously did that on purpose.

Emo poser: Nono no wai I did not! I liek totally got sad and My Cemikul Romanze is mah fave band EVUR!! All mah otha frendz lizzen to them!

Emo: ... Ok, you know what? How about you just keep cutting? It'll be the solution to not only your problem but to ours too. Our reputation will finally be saved!

Emo poser: Oo yea! Good idea! Now Im gunna go take my super-expensiv nife and cut mah ristz while lizzenin to Hawforn Haytz!

Emo: Yea. Hurry up. You need to bleed more. Or, how about you let ME do it for you?
by SomeBadJoke November 07, 2006
 
10.
The driving force behind writing a research paper.
I procrastinated too long, and now the paper is due tomorrow! I haven't even started on it yet!! *starts writing nonstop*

Procrastination brings about the most busy day of your live eventually if you keep doing it.
by SomeBadJoke March 19, 2006
 
11.
Simply the best subgenre of metal out there. Combines the distorted guitars and powerful drums of metal with the beautiful symphonic sound of classical orchestra instruments, such as violins, pianos, cellos, etc.
Some great symphonic metal bands include: Rhapsody of Fire, Therion, Symphony X, Nightwish, Kamelot, Angra, and more
by SomeBadJoke March 15, 2007
 
12.
A genre of music that evolved from rock in the late 70s and early 80s.

Is characterized by heavily distorted guitars, giving them a deep, rough sound, which is where the "heavy" part came from; powerful drums, and thick bass. Usually includes very complex guitar work and amazing solos.

Black Sabbath is often considered the original heavy metal band. Bands like Metallica and Iron Maiden are considered the perfectors of the genre, and pioneers of the overall 80s metal scene.

Over the years, it has evolved into several subgenres. The most popular one with metalheads is thrash metal, but there are several others such as power metal, doom metal, black metal, death metal, etc.

The most recent subgenre that's spawned in today's modern scene is nu metal. This subgenre has basically the same characteristics of traditional metal, except for the fact that guitar solos are very rare, if not included at all. This has caused many metalheads to look down upon it as "shit", "poser metal", or "mallcore" (many people also link it to "emo", as sometimes they may have similar lyrics).

Contrary to popular belief, heavy metal is NOT Satanic. Only black metal (and sometimes death metal) bands portray that kind of imagery. However, it's not because they actually worship Satan, but because they're against Christianity as a whole. Some other metal bands of other genres may occasionally use Satanic imagery in their songs, but once again, it's not because they worship Satan. It's just to add deeper meaning and emotion to their songs.

Also contrary to popular belief, it is NOT all mindless incomprehensible screaming. There is another subgenre of metal called "metalcore". These bands usually scream all the lyrics in their songs, and at the moment, metalcore is the most popular subgenre of metal. However, screaming metal bands only account for less than 25% of the entire genre. Metal bands like Iron Maiden, Stratovarius, Symphony X, and Kamelot incorporate very melodic vocals in their music, hardly ever screaming, if at all. If they do scream, it's only for a moment, to add emotion to a section of the song.
*Traditional Metal - Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest
*Thrash Metal - Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax, Megadeth, Testament, Exodus
*Power Metal - Blind Guardian, Manowar, Stratovarius, Helloween, Edguy, Rhapsody of Fire
*Progressive Metal - Dream Theater, Symphony X, King's X, Opeth
*Grindcore - Napalm Death, Anal Cunt, Carcass
*Death Metal - Cannibal Corpse, Behemoth, Necrophagist, Children of Bodom
*Black Metal - Venom, Emperor, Bathory, Dimmu Borgir, Mayhem, Burzum
*Nu Metal - Korn Slipknot, Deftones, Disturbed, System of a Down
*Metalcore - Unearth, Shadows Fall, Killswitch Engage, Trivium (early albums), Hatebreed

In my opinion, all heavy metal is good. I know there are many "true metalheads" that will say all nu metal sucks, or all metalcore sucks, and that only old metal is good, but then they're not appreciating the metal genre as a whole. I say, why take your anger out on subgenres of your own favorite music, when you could take it out on those that are obscuring it further, like rap and pop?

If it's metal, it's metal. There shouldn't be any arguments about "true and false metal". It's just music. A guitarist doesn't have to be fucking Kirk Hammet or Kerry King to be talented. A song doesn't have to include a blazing fast solo like in Iron Maiden's Hallowed Be Thy Name to be good. Bands don't have to sound like the big names from the 80s to be great.

And speaking of big names.. Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, etc. are NOT the only good metal bands around. Granted, most of today's mainstream metal is unpopular with diehard metalheads, if you keep looking, you'll find many modern metal bands that are surprisingly good, like Edguy and Children of Bodom. Metal did NOT die in the 80s as many think, and this is why it will remain to please us all with its wonderful sound, unlike rap and pop that have no variety or talent whatsoever.
by SomeBadJOKE February 03, 2007
 
13.
A show where you watch supposedly humorous home video clips of people. 90% of the "funny" stuff is people randomly falling down or tripping over something.
"Hay man did u watch America's Funniest Home Videos?? The guy fell down!! HAHA!"

"Yea. It was.. unfunny. To say the least."
by SomeBadJOKE October 07, 2007
 
14.
When you can no longer play guitar slowly because you're so used to playing fast (I.E. shredding) that if you were to start playing slow, you'd automatically lose your touch
"You want me to play THAT simple piece?? Hah!"

*tries to, but finds himself going unreasonably fast*

"What the hell?? I can't!! I must have Skwisgaar Skwigelf Syndrome.."
by SomeBadJOKE April 14, 2007