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2 definitions by Sloppy Grapevine

 
1.
A sport that gained a particular popularity during the mid-90's. It involves either soft- or hard- shelled boots mounted on top of rails attached to between three and five wheels each. There is often a level of malcontent associated with rollerblades in the minds of Average Joe, as the techniques required to become proficient take a fair amount of time and perseverance, all the while dwarfing the learner's superiority complex as he flails his arms and falls flat on his face time after time.
Many claim that rollerblading is a characteristically homosexual endeavor,though there is little evidence to support this unless redneck logic is employed. On the contrary, a skilled skater has proven to be more than averagely desirable to the opposite sex. The sport endures endless scrutiny due to the before mentioned difficulties in the early stages of practice. It is most heavily bombarded in skateboarding culture (the one populated by teenaged stoners, rather than skilled athletes,) where claims are made that it's not as risky as skateboarding and therefor not as "hardcore." This is not the case, as a skateboard solicits the option of detaching oneself from the convention of wheels in mid-fall, whereas inline or quad skates offer no such puss-out ability, and one's folly yields full, painful consequences.

Rollerblading breaks down into several styles, among which are speed skating, urban skating in a fashion similar to parkour, park skating in a skate park environment, hockey skating, and figure/jam skating, the least common. Each style utilizes a specific variation of equipment with differences in wheel size, ankle flexibility, elevation of wheel rails, and quality of bearings and wheel material.

Rollerblades can be rented at rock-bottom prices from your local roller rink, assuming that they are to be used in said rink. Often times there is a DJ or professional skater on duty that will be more than willing to help a beginner with the basics.
Guy 1: I've been rollerblading for about ten years now,
Guy 2: Ha, that's so gay, I can't believe you're such a fairy.
Guy 1: Well, fuck you.
by Sloppy Grapevine January 11, 2009
 
2.
Art
The differentiation between art and craft:

Briefly, a craft is any form of creativity that lacks originality, or can be replicated from instructions or archetypes. Basically, all of those weaving things you did in gradeschool that your teachers praised you so much for, because you were a "natural artist."

An art stems from the concept of craft, but includes an added element of innovation or originality. Many have said that art is anything with no apparent purpose other than aesthetics- this is not true. Art can take the form of any craft touched with profound innovation, where profundity does not imply aesthetic alone.

It is the craft element of a piece of work that elicits simple emotion such as nostalgia or outrage, as the most basic of human emotion is not difficult to tease out, and such a thing can be done with a method that is duplicable through documentation.

For perspective, many young adults choose to migrate to a major city such as San Francisco or New York to attend an "Art School" such as the Academy of Art. Teaching art is an oxymoron, as the creative initiative would have stemmed from archetypes and proven methods- the stuff of a craft- rather than being of purely original, random inspiration. In this sense, Art schools are technically craft schools, and are useful in their supplement of foundations for art.

Many craftspeople claim to be artists, and often make money selling their acclaimed "art" to connoisseurs, though their success is more a display of insolence rather than talent, and when confronted about the artistic nature of their work they simply claim a single photo of a waiter "too profound to explain," a three-minute sap ballad "expresses their inner anguish," or that a blob of paint and rice randomly thrown on canvas is "Abstract." (Abstract painting and sculpture, much like free-form poetry and experimental music, rarely holds the form of art, as it is simply random. An artistic abstract concept still maintains structure, such as a defined rhythm structure, tonal density or predetermined lack thereof, or color and hue dynamics.)

The differentiation between a serious artist and a posing craftsperson is their level of modesty. When an artist holds a show, it will most likely be the only one they hold that year, and, most importantly, they don't set out to make a living of it. It may well happen if they are randomly successful, but there is no disappointment at never selling a piece because the art itself is a reward to have conceived.

Privileged upper-middle class student at AAU, who still claims to be "indie" even after submitting to standardized education- 2% probability of artistic talent.

Metalhead from a rural mountain town who's been playing from an early age- 5% probability of artistic talent.

Working-Class journalist with a love of Indian cuisine and horse racing- 8% probability of artistic talent.

Line cook in a shitty restaurant who despises his workplace but loves his job- 60% probability of artistic talent.

There's really no celebrity involved. Greater sacrifice means deeper experience and comprehension.
by Sloppy Grapevine February 22, 2009