Individuals who eat a great deal of fiber usually have remnants of this indigestible material present in their stool: lettuce, celery strands, etc. Scat
floss is a new oral hygene technique wherein one individual shits in another individual's mouth. The shitee chews on the warm, viscous shit and in the process has their teeth flossed by the fibrous strands contained within the massive, oozing load.
Caleb examined his mouth in the mirror, frustration oozing from every pore. "Great veal florentine, Delmonico," Caleb lisped to his effeminate lover, "but now I have these silly portabello mushrooms stuck between my teeth!"
Delmonico did not say a word. He merely stood up, brushed off his Prada jeans, and pranced quickly to Caleb's side. Delmonico placed a manicured hand on Caleb's girlish shoulder and pushed him into a kneeling position with the calm agression that a lioness uses to bathe her newborn cubs.
With wide, moist eyes like a majestic deer, Caleb opened his mouth wide, ready to accept Delmonico's spicy meat pole.
"Not this time, princess," said Delmonico with a Richard Simmons squeal.
"It's time for you to clean out your filthy little mouth!"
Delmonico quickly pulled down his jeans and Bill Blass silk bikini underwear. He placed his gaping, blown-out anus over Caleb's mouth and squeezed out a 9-inch long log that contained the remnants of yesterday's Nicoise salad.
As Caleb chewed and chomped with the delight of a squirell with a sunflower seed, Delmonico let Mr. Foofer, the couples' prized Shi Tzu, lick his dripping asshole clean.
The act of a woman performing fellatio
on a man while he is sitting on a toilet defecating.
Bitch, I don't care if smells like the fart of a raccoon with colon cancer, get on yo knees and gobble this knob while I squeeze out the remnants of your hastily prepared lasagna.
The sound created when a woman is pushing during childbirth and defecates
Caleb looked more pale than usual as he hung up his micro-mini lime green Motorola cell phone.
"Ding-dong, what's wrong, bitch?" Caleb's effeminate lover Delmonico lisped, "Is Christina Agulara retiring?"
Caleb removed his perfectly moisturized hands from the knees of his 80% linen, 20% polyester Armani City slacks
and stared at his cherished come-dumpster.
"It's my sister, Dakota," Caleb minced, "she's gone into labor prematurely - we, like, have to drive over
to see her!"
"Oh my god, Caleb, she lives in Rockford," Delmonico pouted,
his firm ass accentuated in the moonlight by a pair of acid-stressed Express bootcut jeans,
"they eat fags like us for breakfast in that shithole."
Caleb gazed at his boyfriend while picking at the underside of a tooth with his fingernail;
a habit developed during the same period that a pre-pubescent Caleb ruined any hope of having
straight incisors by sucking (or gumming) dick concurrent with the development of his "adult teeth".
"Delmonico, we need to support her. When I came out to the family she called me a satan-fellating
shit-chomper, but at least she didn't try to beat me with my grandfather's crucifix while my mother
drunkenly wept over her Yahtzee board," Caleb said as he unwrapped a watermelon flavored popsicle,
"besides, once she's done breeding we can stop by that IKEA in Schaumburg and replace the bedside
table that's all covered with shit and come."
"I'm sold," Delmonico yelped,"the smell of that thing messes with my head when I'm doing law school homework."
***Later, in Rockford,***
Caleb and Delmonico skipped through the doors of Rockford Memorial Hospital as if a yellow
brick road shined as a beacon before them. “Pardon me, madam,” Delmonico said to the mulleted
land cow seated behind the reception desk. The receptionist slowly glanced up from her Tractor Pull magazine
and took in Caleb's lime green fingernails and Delmonico's faux-mohawk with magenta highlighted tips.
“We're looking for Ashleigh De Laurent” said Caleb, “she's about to have a spawn!”
"Room 503," said the closeted bull-dyke, "elevators to the right."
"Thanks soooo much," Delmonico said, "and maybe grow your hair out a bit, you're tough even for a hick
When the happy couple hit the fifth floor, they immediately noticed a conversation occurring at the Nurses Desk.
Caleb stopped suddenly as he noticed an older gentleman dressed in a polo shirt and Dockers.
"Delmonico, that's my uncle Ralph," Caleb said with his head cocked 45 degrees to the left, "I haven't seen him since
I was twelve years old when I caught him jerking off while smelling my sister's panties. He ran out ashamed before
I could even try to give him a sloppy blow job."
"Caleb, get over here," said Ralph, "Ashleigh's about to pop!"
Delmonico and Caleb ran after Ralph into room 503.
"Push! Push!" yelled the doctor as Ashleigh screamed,
A flood of pasty yellow feces jettisoned from Ashley's anus as her newborn son's head appeared between her meaty
vaginal lips. As Caleb fainted from disgust, a loud blast of vile gas escaped from his weakened sphincter.
A variety of diarrhea caused by eating a large spinach salad and drinking Jameson all night.
Frank's salad at Macaroni Grill came back to haunt him when his Jameson bender led to an extreme greeny that resembled Kermit in a food processor.