1 definition by Skeet Masta

Top Definition
to pleasure oneself; to extract semen manually
Today Johnny wanted to masturbate, but was worried that his mother would catch him and tell him that he would go blind.
#bashing the candle #bleeding the weasel #bleedin the weed #buffing the banana #bopping the baloney #burping the worm #choking the chicken #cleaning your rifle #corking the bat #cranking the shank #cuffing the carrot #fisting your mister #flogging your dog #floggin the frog #flogging the hog #flogging the log #flute solo #jerkin'the gherkin #looping the mule #manual override #painting the pickle #pocket pinball #pocket pool #polishing the banister #polishing the rocket #pounding your flounder #pumping the python #roping the pony #spanking the monkey #teasing the weasel #tossing the turkey #walking the dog #whipping the willy #wonking your cronker #yanking the crank #jingling the change #beat it #beat off #jack off #whack off #whack it #jack it #wank #wank off #crank one out #twist one off #beat the meat #pump the porpoise #bejizza #petting the weasel #pinch the one-eyed snake #flog the dolphin #whittle the woodblock #beat the bishop #slap the salami #spank the dolphin #pull the pork #polish one’s gun #shine the silver #to smack little johnny behind his german helmet and purple bulbous ear #do the five knuckle shuffle #have a date with jill #beat around the bush #flick the sausage #punch the purple ninja #juice the snake #peel the banana #milk the cow #squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger #slap the monkey #tame the dragon #go bowling be oneself #hit a homerun in the homefield #shimmy up and down the pole of love #initiate the saturn v #turn on the sprinklers #turn on the love hose #punch the clown in the nose #tweek the deek #hit the dick #tallywhack #soil the kleenex #smother the hanky #tootin’ your horn #fighting the purple helmet warrior #rubbing the one-eyed snake #committing spermicide #taking your turn at the self-serve station #fishing with your zipper trout #beating the shit out of your midget friend #makin’ mayo #polishing the family jewels #test-firing the old meat missile #put some mayonnaise on the knuckle sandwich #shake hands with uncle dick #grease the rod #squash the bug #shake hands with your penis #squeeze the éclair #fuck oneself #awaken the slumbering giant #flick the dick #practice ju-dick-su #train oneself in kung-penis #play one’s oboe #rob the sperm bank #make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk out his trunk #to cockadoodledoo #make your worm sneeze #visit the fountain of youth #spray the butter #spray the cool-whip #get your smack on #smack it #smack off #pump the hydrant #evacuate one’s testicles #practice stick-shift #cuff the duke #fly the airplane #shift gears #pull the goalie #hand shandy #saying hi to madame palm and her five lovely sisters #fire one’s death star #throwing the javelin #taming the one-eyed ogre #one-hand solo #shaking hands with mr. happy #tuning the fork #playing the ace #wack the weasel #and tug the tortoise
by Skeet Masta May 08, 2006
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