7 definitions by Sir Garence

Top Definition
Paranokia

(noun)

A state of anxiety that afflicts cellphone users and results in the following behaviours:

- Many people simultaneously checking their phones when a message arrival tone is heard. Generally occurs in a public/crowded place.

- Frequent checking that keylock is enabled and that a phone isn't accidentally pocket dialing someone, especially if that person is currently being gossiped about

- Constantly checking for new text messages or emails, even though you haven't heard or felt one arrive since you last checked

- Having left your phone behind at home or the office, the feeling of absolute certainty that you are missing vitally important messages and/or booty calls
Having once accidentally pocket dialed the boyfriend of the girl he was having backseat sex with, Jeff's paranokia ensured that he switched his phone off during subsequent engagements.
by Sir Garence March 10, 2009

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The type of suntan that only a naked woman can attain.
I spent the day at the nude beach and got a wicked cuntan. Check it out!
by Sir Garence September 02, 2009

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An over-tight t-shirt worn by an overweight man.
Jeff had gained several stone since he last wore the t-shirt, and it now clung to his body like a wet sheet draped over mounds of clay.

"Hey man, nice moob tube," commented one of his friends.
by Sir Garence October 21, 2010

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Adjective: unforesmelt or unforesmelled

An unanticipated or unexpected smell, often pertaining to flatulence.

My earlier snack of dill pickles with cream cheese has had unforesmelt consequences.

by Sir Garence March 07, 2009

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The result of an obese man's moobs merging into a single roll of fat that often completely encircles the upper torso.
Jeff had become so overweight that his moobs had morphed into a single monomoob.
by Sir Garence October 21, 2010

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(noun)

Paparazzi who specialise in upskirt shots.
The flaparazzi hit paydirt after Paris Hilton climbed out of her car, wearing a very short skirt and no underwear.
by Sir Garence August 09, 2009

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(noun)

A state of female sexual arousal wherein the vagina expands and elongates. This is the feminine equivalent of having the horn.
"You shouldn't look at me that way - you'll give me the tube!"
by Sir Garence July 24, 2009

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