3 definitions by Sir Dale esq

Top Definition
aka England.(to the very ignorant)
aka Chavland. (to the British)
aka Scotland. ("Fucking Britain! I'm fucking scottish" said jock)

Now im not writing this defination to boast about how great, britain is. All of you already know about this and the name of Great Britain further emphazises the greatness.
I am also writing this to give misguided souls a true discription of Great Britain and to spell out common misconceptions.

Misconception
No 1: Britain and England are not the same thing.
England is England. Are we all catching that?
Great Britain is England, Scotland and Wales.

No 2: Not all British look like the "back end of a bus" (ugly)
Apart from myself and Price Charles that is.

No 3: Tony Blair is not a Wanker.
He is a tosser. (To the non-britons and idiots among you they are both detrogatory comments)

No 4: We dont all have crumpets at tea time.
Scones are favoured accompainment to a lovely Earl Gray.

In this short space of time you have now grown accustomed to Britain's traditions. I will now provide a translation for tourists on holiday to sunny Britain;

football = soccer
oh bollocks = oh shit
a bit of crumpet = a good looking girl
arseholes = assholes or alternatly the french
french = frogs or dirty bastards
"Come on them!" = "you my friend are ever so obnoxious and now you feel my wrath with the old traditional british duel. Jeeves fetch my dueling pistols!"

I am sure all of you will agree that these translations will certainly allow you to communicate more fluently with the average Briton. May i also add the last phrase; "Come on them" works most effectively with a cockney, scouse, brummy, geordie or scottish accent. Don't say it in the queen's english you will sound like a ponce.

I now come to end of my explantion for now i bid you farewell. And may God (who is British) jolly well bless you old chaps.

(I wonder if anyone has a sence of irony or pathetic fallacy)
"Of course God is British, the bible's written in english"

Please don't start sending me hate mail about how the bible was originally written in latin. Or if you don't believe in a God. Or if alternatly believe in Allah, or them indian Gods or if you are currently intoxicated and believe you are God and that you can fly etc.

"God save the Queen and Britain"
by Sir Dale esq August 22, 2006

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1. To complete a job to a very poor standard.

2. To start on a job and not...

Half Arsed (UK) aka Half Assed (US)

"From the latin Halficus Arseicus meaning British Builder"
by Sir Dale esq August 22, 2006

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The sound of leather hitting willow that takes me back to my schoolboy days. Me and WG opening for Gloucestershire while the birds were singing and a cool summer breeze blowing southwards towards the pavilion. The rain from the previous creating a rather sticky wicket which one must take guard upon.

In reality its a gentleman's sport which has been distorted by the likes of Hanse Cronje and the Pakistan team over the years.
In the words of 10cc

"I don't like cricket no, no, no."
"I love it!"
"Yeah"

And in the words of Inzamum-ul-Huq
"Muhammed what did you do to ball, don't make me get Allah to strike you down"
by Sir Dale esq August 29, 2006

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