26 definitions by Siegfried Zaga

Line of American motorcycles first manufactured in 1903 by William Harley and Arthur Davidson that are nowadays generally overpriced and underpowered.

Harleys are commonly referred to as "hogs," which is an allusion to the deep, throaty rumble the exhaust pipes emit as well as the amount of gasoline they typically consume. The loud exhaust noise is the basis for countless "all bark and no bite" references in relation to typical Harley engine performance. "Hog" is also an acronym for the Harley Owners' Group.

Harleys utilize the antiquated and inefficient V-twin engine design, which is a Harley trademark in much the same way tumors are a trademark of cancer victims. While even older V-twin engines boast an excellent amount of low-end torque, most V-twin engines redline at about 5000 to 6000 RPM which severely hampers any effort made to achieve quick acceleration. In contrast, many sportbikes redline at 10000 to 15000 RPM--double the amount of torque, which means you can accelerate harder for a longer period of time before having to change gears on a sportbike.

Despite advances in the construction of the V-twin engine, such as the 1450cc Twin Cam 88 (1999) and the 1130cc V-rod (2002), the fact of the matter is that neither engine design is worth their weight in gold because both still utilize the inefficient V-twin template. Granted, the current V-rod is a powerful and formidable engine that allows for much quicker acceleration than previous models and can hold its own against many low-end sportbikes, but Japanese (Honda, Kawasaki, Yamaha), Italian (Ducati) and German (BMW) manufacturers, using an array of different engine constructs such as the inline 4-cylinder design, have been outperforming Harley's outdated V-twin monstrosities for decades.

Once the mechanical horses of vicious outlaws such as the infamous Hell's Angels and a piece of machinery that commanded respect, Harley-Davidson motorcycles are now nothing more than something non-fleshy for pornographers to put between the legs of their models, as well as being status symbols for doctors, lawyers, and other yuppie scum who don't know the first goddamn thing about riding safely but will waste $20000-$30000 on a bike regardless. The aforementioned vicious outlaws can no longer afford to buy Harley-Davidson motorcycles, so they spend their time hanging out in sleazy bars and reminiscing over what could have been. Or they take the initiative and ride Hondas, like the gangs in the Charles Bronson movie "Death Wish."

In the late 1960s, Harley-Davidson was having many financial woes so they merged with recreation giant AMF. AMF produced, among other things, bowling balls and golf carts. AMF used the merger as an opportunity to slap the Harley logo on many non-motorcycle-related things they produced, such as their golf carts. So if someone ever says "my grandmother rides a Harley," they are probably being witty in referring to the fact that their grandmother (drives) an AMF-produced golf cart with the Harley logo emblazoned on it. (To be fair, Yamaha also produces golf carts and motorcycles, among other things but riding a Yamaha has never held the same amount of prestige as riding a Harley, so their reputation suffers little.)

Most Harley enthusiasts agree that while it was essential to the rebirth of the Harley-Davidson corporation, nothing good was produced during the merger of AMF and Harley. The bikes produced using AMF's resources were (by and large) crap, but many motorcycling enthusiasts would argue that some things never change. People bought the AMF-produced bikes though, which helped boost Harley-Davidson financially through the 70s as they competed against a flood of cheaper Japanese bikes entering the market. In 1981 Harley-Davidson and AMF split and Harley-Davidson became an independent company again.
by Siegfried Zaga May 28, 2005

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A phenomenon that occurs on internet message boards where administrators and/or moderators abuse their power to consistently edit annoying, lame or problematic users' posts or profiles to change the context and make the user look like a fool.
Before AA:

Upstanding User A: "How's the new GTA?"
Annoying User B: "God it sucks, it's so lame; if you buy it you're gay."
Upstanding User C: "Don't listen to the above guy, it's great."

After AA:

Upstanding User A: "How's the new GTA?"
Annoying User B: "I hear its amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hari Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!"
Upstanding User C: "Don't listen to the above guy, it's great."
by Siegfried Zaga May 21, 2005

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1. Salve can be construed as any form of lotion, jelly or cream used as a soothing agent for treating rashes, burns, wounds, or other dermatological inflammations (hemorrhoids, etc).

2. Misspelling of "slave."
In the Ren & Stimpy episode "To Salve or Not to Salve," a salesman tries to sell Stimpy a jar of salve on the grounds that it helps with dirty dishes and unmanageable hair, among other things (such as acting as a substitute for toilet paper).

Use of salve as a kitchen cleanser, hair sculpting solution, or substitute for toilet paper is not recommended and is a blatant misuse of the product.
by Siegfried Zaga May 20, 2005

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Term used to characterize an oppressive majority, set of standards, or other oppressive mainstream institution.

The term was coined by writers Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea in 1975 through the persona of Markoff Chaney, a midget struggling to understand and destroy society's oppressive managerial hierarchy in one of the books of the duo's "Illuminatus! Trilogy."

The relevant passage of the term's context is as follows:

---
The Midget, whose name was Markoff Chaney, was no relative of the famous Chaneys of Hollywood, but people did keep making jokes about that. It was bad enough to be, by the standards of the gigantic and stupid majority, a freak; how much worse to be so named as to remind these big oversized clods of the cinema's two most famous portrayers of monstro-freaks; by the time the Midget was fifteen, he had built up a detestation for ordinary mankind that dwarfed (he hated that word) the relative misanthropies of Paul of Tarsus, Clement of Alexandria, Swift of Dublin and even Robert Putney Drake. Revenge, for sure, he would have. He would have revenge...

Damn the science of mathematics itself, the line, the square, the average, the whole measurable world that pronounced him a bizarre random factor. Once and for all, beyond fantasy, in the depth of his soul he declared war on the "statutory ape," on law and order, on predictability, on negative entropy. He would be a random factor in every equation; from this day forward, unto death, it would be civil war: the Midget versus the Digits....
---
(n.) "For well over a year, those black kids fought the statutory ape, but to no avail--they ended up getting convicted for crimes they didn't commit."

(adv.) "I got rejected by the NBA again. Apparently geriatrics are automatically disqualified. It's statutory ape, I tell you."
by Siegfried Zaga May 22, 2005

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L5P
Shorthand acronym for "Little Five Points," a small alternative-culture district in Atlanta.
"Lost cat; last seen in L5P."
by Siegfried Zaga May 28, 2005

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Of or relating to a "kill or be killed" mentality pertaining to the inherent fear that residents of crime-prone areas have of each other. This fear-thy-neighbor mentality causes individuals to feel they have no way of protecting themselves from crime or violence, except by killing anybody who threatens or harasses them.

Such mentality is usually the result of living in violent, crime-prone (typically inner-city) areas for long periods of time and/or watching too much television (no joke).

"Urban survival syndrome" has been used as a legal defense sporadically throughout American history but was first invoked in Texas (go figure) in 1993 by a black youth named Daimion Osby. Osby had been shooting craps with a group of people and had collected a hefty wad of cash ($400). Osby then violated the etiquette rules of street craps by trying to abandon the game without giving the other players a chance to win some of their money back.

Marcus Brooks, who had suffered considerable losses during the game, threatened to "get" Osby as he walked off. With the help of cousin Willie, M. Brooks attempted to shake down Osby during a basketball game, resulting in a fight that was ultimately broken up by police. Osby was again confronted by the duo while in his car sitting at a traffic light; the Brooks brandished a shotgun and tried to force Osby to pull over, but he fled. After a final uneventful confrontation in a public park, Osby purchased a .38 caliber handgun and started carrying it with him for protection.

While conversing with a woman on the curb one evening, Osby was accosted by the Brooks duo for one final time. The Brooks drove their car onto the curb, hitting Osby. They then got out of the car and began assaulting him using their fists. At this point Osby drew his gun and killed one of the Brooks cousins with a single shot to the head. As the surviving cousin attempted to retreat to the car to retrieve the handgun that was stored inside, Osby aerated his assailant's skull with a single shot to the head as well.

At his first trial his attorneys claimed the double homicide was an act of self-defense in the name of urban survival--if he hadn't shot them, they would have returned to threaten, harass or kill him later. Amusingly enough Osby's attorneys tried to convince the jury that anybody having to fight off black men would probably react similarly in fearing for their life; given the statistics, there's a lot of reason to believe black men are scary. But even more amusingly, the defense succeeded (to some degree).

There was no verdict; the jury was hung because one of two black jurors on the panel believed Osby had acted in self-defense. Prosecutors vowed a retrial.

The Fifth Amendment of the Constitution provides for protection against retrials; unless the defendant appeals a guilty verdict, he cannot be tried for the same crime twice (except being tried in both civil and criminal court). However, a hung jury does not prove conclusive--he was neither convicted nor acquitted, so he was fair game for a retrial.

The retrial was held and the "urban survival" plea was not repeated; Osby was found guilty and received an automatic life sentence, as prosecutors had decided before the second trial to not seek the death penalty.
No example provided for "Urban Survival Syndrome."
by Siegfried Zaga May 21, 2005

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Line of American motorcycles first manufactured in 1903 by William Harley and Arthur Davidson that are nowadays generally overpriced and underpowered.

Harleys are commonly referred to as "hogs," which is an allusion to the deep, throaty rumble the typical Harley exhaust emits. The loud exhaust noise is the basis for countless "all bark and no bite" references in relation to typical Harley engine performance. "Hog" is also an acronym for "Harley Owners Group."

Harleys utilize the antiquated and inefficient V-twin engine design, which is a Harley trademark in much the same way tumors are a trademark of cancer victims. While even older V-twin engines boast an excellent amount of low-end torque, most V-twin engines redline at about 5000 to 6000 RPM which severely hampers any effort made to achieve quick acceleration. In contrast, many sportbikes redline at 10000 to 15000 RPM--double the amount of torque, which means you can accelerate harder for a longer period of time before having to change gears on a sportbike.

Despite advances in the construction of the V-twin engine, such as the 1450cc Twin Cam 88 (1999) and the 1130cc V-rod (2002), the fact of the matter is that neither engine design is worth their weight in gold because both still utilize the inefficient V-twin template. Granted, the current V-rod is a powerful and formidable engine that allows for much quicker acceleration than previous models, but Japanese (Honda, Kawasaki, Yamaha) and Italian (Ducati) manufacturers, using an array of different engine constructs such as the in-line 4-cylinder design, have been outperforming Harley's lousy V-twin concepts for decades.

Once the mechanical horses of vicious outlaws such as the infamous Hell's Angels and a piece of machinery that commanded respect, Harley-Davidson motorcycles are now nothing more than status symbols for doctors, lawyers, and other yuppie scum who don't know the first goddamn thing about riding safely but will waste $20000-$30000 on a bike regardless. The aforementioned vicious outlaws can no longer afford to buy Harley-Davidson motorcycles, so they spend their time hanging out in sleazy bars and reminiscing over what could have been. Or they take the initiative and ride Hondas, like the gangs in the Charles Bronson movie "Death Wish."

It is a joke among the motorcycling community that "H/D," the initials of the company namesake, stand for "Hunn'rd Dollars" as opposed to "Harley-Davidson." The reasoning behind the joke is that Harley knows the yuppies who buy their bikes will buy anything with the Harley logo on it without considering the price, so Harley exploits their customers by charging at least $100 for even the most trivial accessories.

In the late 1960s, Harley-Davidson was having many financial woes so they merged with recreation giant AMF. AMF produced, among other things, bowling balls and golf carts. AMF used the merger as an opportunity to slap the Harley logo on many non-motorcycle-related things they produced, such as their golf carts. So if someone ever says "my grandmother rides a Harley," they are probably being witty in referring to the fact that their grandmother (drives) an AMF-produced golf cart with the Harley logo emblazoned on it. (To be fair, Yamaha also produces golf carts, motorcycles, keyboards and computer equipment but riding a Yamaha has never held the same amount of prestige as riding a Harley, so their reputation suffers little.)

Most Harley enthusiasts agree that while it was essential to the rebirth of the Harley-Davidson corporation, nothing good was produced during the merger of AMF and Harley. The bikes produced using AMF's resources were (by and large) crap, but many motorcycling enthusiasts would argue that some things never change. People bought the AMF-produced bikes though, which helped boost Harley-Davidson financially through the 70s as they competed against a flood of cheaper Japanese bikes entering the market. In 1981 H/D and AMF split and Harley-Davidson became an independent company again.
No example provided for "Harley Davidson."
by Siegfried Zaga May 22, 2005

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