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4 definitions by Self-Hating Hipster

 
1.
The band that destroyed Woodstock and FM radio. see, unfocused anger, latent homoeroticism, meathead metal
Extreme Dude #1: How does Durst do it?
Extreme Dude #2: I know -- he has a small wang, but still goes to bed with chicks.
Extreme Dude #1: I wish my wang were that small.
#2: Haha! Mine is!
#1: I was just joking.
#2: Oh (looks down)
by Self-Hating Hipster July 26, 2005
 
2.
Somebody who does not know whether a song is good and logs on to Pitchfork.com to find out
"Look at those corpulent rednecks bobbing to Korn"
"Pitchfork actually gave "Follow the Leader" a 6.9."
"Can we talk about this later, when I give a shit, pitchdork?"
by self-hating hipster August 04, 2005
 
3.
The reason hipsters were born -- in the late '90's, Bizkit and Korn were all the rage. Linkin Park and Staind dominated as well in the beginning of this decade. Since rock stations removed Weezer and Beck off the radio for this garbage, people who used to like rock either turned to online music magazines for guidance or switched to rap instead. Mp3 blogs and internet radio began stealing listeners from rock radio so now, because rock stations play
either nu metal or old alternative (Weezer, Beck), modern rock stations are dropping quick. So next time some pretentious scenester sings some Futureheads song he heard off the OC, thank yourself and your red backwards baseball cap, Bizkit biter.
Dude #1: Dude, how come my friends all watch the OC now?

Dude #2: Uh, because they like to watch hot chicks and listen to decent music.

Dude #1: Are we the only dudes who like to see sweaty bald guys with neck tattos anymore?

Dude #2: I don't know, but it was fun destroying Woodstock and FM rock radio.

Dude #1: Hells yeah!
by Self-Hating Hipster July 26, 2005
 
4.
A non-Jewish Middle Eastern-American who bends over backwards to prove how American he is. Derived from "Uncle Tom."
Mo's indie rock friend #1: Did you see Mo get all weird when we introduced him to that hot Syrian chick?
#2: I know, as soon as she asked him what "Mo" was short for, he turned as red as a twice-used maxi pad.
#1: For real! I had to tell her it was short for "Mohamed."
#2: When will he realize "Mo" is the toupee of all nicknames?
#1: (scoffs) I love him more than I love Guided By Voices, but he's such an Uncle
Sam.

Exeunt
by Self-Hating Hipster July 26, 2005