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4 definitions by Scooter118

 
1.
The act of placing a twisted tissue up one's nose and moving it up and down to tickle the sinus and manually cause a sneeze.

Often useful when trying to releive one's self of the sensation of a sneeze that won't come out naturally.
I've been phantom sneezing all morning so I just noseturbated one out. It was orgasmic.
by Scooter118 March 11, 2009
 
2.
The sensation of a sneeze that won't occur naturally.
I kept having to phantom sneeze in front of Jane last night and now she thinks I have terrets.
by Scooter118 March 11, 2009
 
3.
The face someone makes when they are about to sneeze.
Example 1:

Jane: I went out with John last night... He's cute but he kept making this zombieface. I think he has terrets.

Sue: Maybe he had to sneeze.

Jane: He should have noseturbated it out.

Example 2:

Bob: How did the interview go?

John: Horrible. I had to sneeze so bad I zombiefaced through half the interview. And to make matters worse, I sneezed so hard that I blew boogers all over the desk.

Bob: Should have noseturbated before you went in.
by Scooter118 March 11, 2009
 
4.
1: A poop that mysteriously disappears when you stand up to flush.

2: Having to poop but managing to squeeze a fart around it. Thus defying the laws of poop gravity.
Example 1:
I'm telling you... I got up to flush and the 2 hour terd was gone. Total Houdini.

Example 2:
I thought I was going to shart for a minute there but I Houdinied it.
by Scooter118 March 11, 2009