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9 definitions by Sass sha J

 
1.
A man who is whipped by a fat ass bi-polar bitch and doesn't have the balls to stand up to 'it'. A man who was obviously absent the day they handed out balls. A man who does everything in his power to obey his mammoth of a woman, but will never again be reunited with his balls she keeps in a jar.
Damn, it look like that balless mike can't go to the game again, he has to sand his wife's feet.

Don't be a ballness mike, tell the bitch you can't keep filling the fridge just to have her consume the contents as soon as you leave the room.

He rode his bike to work in the snow again so his fat ass woman could keep the car for her Mcdonalds run what a balless mike he is.
by Sass sha J May 24, 2010
10 7
 
2.
Everything that can go wrong does. Things that happen in reverse. Backwards, counter clockwise. Like a tornado being turned inside out. Witch lingo.
I am the Queen of Widdershins!

The day was bad and then whiddershins hit.

The witch did the spell but didn't realize she managed to commit widdershins.
by Sass sha J May 24, 2010
2 0
 
3.
Sausage vest is an article of clothing worn to hide ones' fat. The problem is that this only causes the fat to then turn into rolls resembling sausage crammed into a casing.

These vests can come in any color, red,blue, purple checker, and in some cases, crap brown. The person feels as though they are covered up, but in all actuality they have taken a bad situation and made it much, much, worse. It creates a tower of rolls, and gives the illusion of buldging tires. It also raises questions as to exactly how strong that Jo-Ann fabric's threading is to hold such a mass 'safely', thus bringing public safety to mind.
I had trouble getting passed that fat ass, thank goodness her sausage vest caused a bumper effect and bounced me to safety.

How does she manage to find shoes to match every color sausage vest she has?

I was distracted at the play so I decided to count the rolls that duff was sportin' in her bright purple sausage vest.
by Sass sha J May 18, 2010
1 0
 
4.
Duff meaning: Dreadful Ugly Fat Freak of a Neighbor.
A neighbor you dread to see out of their house who is ugly on the inside and out. Morbidly obese, fat, and unfortunately seems to scantily clothed most of the time. A loud ass freak who strives to be obnoxious at all times. They tear around the corner and down your street in their reinforced made for fattys' vehicle like a crazy freak, regardless of any pets or kids that may be in the road. You try to live your life but this Duff neighbor makes it virtually impossible to exist within a 3 block radius without hearing their loud ass bi-polar blabbering. This Duff neighbor likes to do the flubby dance while being hit by the jet stream of a water hose which has been known to cause temporary loss of vision for passer-bys.
I thought they had found the house of their dreams until I saw their Duff Neighbor across the street.

The cat never saw that Duff Neighbor coming.

They don't make fences high enough to completely drown out their Duff Neighbor.
by Sass sha J May 29, 2010
0 1
 
5.
A woman who makes being a bride her profession. One who marries and remarries and remarries. She finds the perfect man, bats her eyes, drags him to the alter, drains him dry of finances and all self respect, then claims the man is not right with god and moves on to the next. This particular type of woman can usually be found in a church and can change religions almost as fast as she can recite vows.
The poor guy needed years of counseling after his brief encounter with that professional bride bitch.

She thinks she is a profssional bride but we all know it's just a step up from street walker.

She preaches her ass off but judges the world through her professional bride standards.
by Sass sha J May 24, 2010
1 2
 
6.
A method that one does to 'help' their own feces out of their ass. A person who has learned to remove unwanted waste from their intestines with a gloved or ungloved finger. A person, often old and smelly, who enjoys rootin' around in their rectum.
The old hag was tired of waiting for her bowels to move so she threw herself into crap diggin' mode and removed it.

I thought she was in her room reading but to my horror she was indeed crap diggin' again.

She turned the pages of her bible with her crap diggin' hands.
by Sass sha J May 24, 2010
0 1
 
7.
This is a scruff patch left above the upper lip caused by long term spit swappin'. Usually done as an extra marital affair and in broad daylight. Can happen while standing or while sitting on their duff. It usually takes 1-2 hours to develop and then scab over causing a bit of an eyesore. May also cause twitching.
Wow I could see her Stache burn from a mile away.

Does she always get stache burns on the weekend?

I guess her ball less wonder of a husband has gotten used to the stache burns by now.
by Sass sha J May 14, 2010
0 1