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1 definition by Sam Moss

 
1.
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Coffee Bran Muffin Cigarette is a game that demands dedication, willpower and mental prowess. The game, invented over drinks and a warm fire during a blistering night in South Baltimore by five friends having what seemed like a harmless conversation, little did they know the game of all games was about to be born. The rules seem basic and may even camouflage the intense difficulties that come with entering into the Coffee Bran Muffin Cigarette competition. To begin, all participants must consume a bran muffin while drinking coffee. Immediately following the consumption of the muffin and coffee a cigarette must be smoked (make sure all participants are actually inhaling the nicotine). This process is repeated as needed until the competing individuals have all had bowel movements. The individual that manages to be the last one to move his/her bowels is crowned the winner of the competition.
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guidelines of competition:
*A bowel movement for the sake of Coffee Bran Muffin Cigarette is defined as any type of substance besides air that passes through the individual's colon

*The brand of muffin or type of cigarette does not matter, obviously the same size cigarette must by used i.e if someone is smoking a parliament light and someone rolls up with a Virginia Slim 150, then the game has become unbalanced and in so its integrity is compromised and all individuals must start over at least 24 hours later)

*Vomiting is strictly prohibited. Vomiting reduces pressure on an individual's stomach, thus making it easier to hold off from the inevitable Bowel Movement and thus granting an unfair advantage. On a related note, no substance can pass through an orifice that is not either the Penis or the Urethra and when any urinating occurs there must be another individual watching, with the door open, to make sure it is only urine is being released from the body.

*Should you run out of bran muffins and the competition is still underway, a comparable substitute may used to help expedite the remainder of the competition. Such substitutes include Raisin Bran Cereal with Milk, Chinese Food, Vodka and Red Bulls, or any other diuretic.
On January 6, 2008 four individuals played Coffee Bran Muffin Cigarette by eating one bran muffin smoking one cigarette and drinking one cup of coffee every hour until someone Passed his bowel
by Sam Moss January 06, 2008