(To friend in bar); "See that chick over there? The one with Alabama License Plate on her back. Yea, that one. I banged the shit out of her last weekend, but she is such a ho-bag I had to double park my dick on her ass just to get some."
(Friend); "That is some repugnant fucked-up shit. Stop talking and buy me another beer you twisted piss-freak."