3 definitions by Roberto Lewis

Top Definition
An individual who uses non-western spiritual belief systems and new-age philosophy to spin a fantastic web of vague bullshit to absolve you from any responsibility towards other people. Naturally this makes you want to give them money.

An individual who claims to have achieved a higher state of being, to which they will grant you access for money, sex, or a place to crash.

see: snake-oil salesman charlatan
That raw-foodist guru was a real shitshaman! How does he get away with it? That fake cheesecake tasted like a wet paper towel! Why did I pay $10 for that seminar?
#guru #new-age #charlaton #shitshaman #raw-foodist #positive thinking #the secret
by roberto lewis November 02, 2009
An adjective used to describe an absurdly heinous act/condition/law, usually perpetrated by a malevolent or indifferent force (such as a God or the DMV), against a member of the universe who is just trying to live their life & keep their shit together.

An act of harm that is so impersonal and mundane in its brutality that it is beyond simple mean-spiritedness.
(Person 1): "Hey how come you're late? What happened to your forehead, that looks terrible.."
(Person 2): "Well I was bending down to grab some tupperware to put my crappy work lunch in, and when I stood up I hit my face on the corner of the counter full force and started bleeding everywhere.. "
(Person 1): "wow that's hateful."
or

"I overdrew from my bank account by 8 cents buying toilet paper, and now I have to pay this fucking hateful $30 fee!!"
#the universe #indifferent god #malevolence #dmv #beaurocracy
by Roberto Lewis November 02, 2009
A shadowy, warlike, unknowable place somewhere in the middle-east that harbors militant ethnic gangs hell bent on the destruction of American Values.
I tell you what..no (insert derogatory racial slur) from Obscuristan or whatever gonna tell me how to live! USA #1 baby, love it or LEAVE-IT!
#obscureistan #middle-east #politics #family values #usa #militants #ethnic
by roberto lewis November 02, 2009
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