21 definitions by Rob Porter

Top Definition
(n.) What a police officer says on his radio after encountering an injured or dead prostitute.
"Unit 3 - we have a hoedown! Clear?"
by Rob Porter October 01, 2007

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(n.) Same as phone sex, except that one must keep both hands on the keyboard. This indicates that one must use one's feet to masturbate, or learn to type with their toes. This leaves both hands free to grope yourself and someone else simultaneously. If fortune prevails, you could use the other hand to perform a rusty trombone or rusty trumpet on your favorite live sex partner while having chat sex with a third party.
STEVE42: Are you there, Bruce?
BRUCE69: Yes.
STEVE42: Let's have chat sex, OK?
BRUCE69: All right, man!
STEVE42: Let me find my big giant dildo, OK?
BRUCE69: OK. I'll just give your grandmother a rusty trumpet to pass the time, OK?
STEVE42: Sounds good.
BRUCE69: All right, my man! We're gonna get naked and nasty tonight!
by Rob Porter January 05, 2009

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(n.) The true origin of president George Walker Bush.
Nobody knew that Barbara's Bush would one day bear forth a fruit with the mentality of a vegetable.
by Rob Porter September 23, 2007

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(n.) The anus and rectum of any primate, including homo sapiens.
Say, doctor, do you have any medicine for hemorroids? There's a Turkish freighter about to dock and my dumphole is itching like hell!
by Rob Porter May 15, 2008

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(n.) A mass of mucous and saliva that is forcefully ejected from the mouth onto a person or object.

The noun loogie is commonly used in conjunction with the verb 'hock.' See example below:
Lucy: "Ethel! Did you just hock a loogie in my coffee?"

Ethel: "Why, yes, Lucy, don't I always?"

Lucy: "Oh yeah I forgot! My FAVORITE!"

Ethel: "You empty the pot and I'll give you some snot, deal??"

Lucy: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!!! Thanks, Ethel! Jeepers you're the greatest! Gosh I've been hocking loogies in Ricky's coffee for eleven years (sigh). You know how those Cubans are about their boogers..."

"Yes... that fat fucker Fred is the same way. Hmph... MEN!!!

by Rob Porter February 23, 2009

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(n.) One that indulges in felching used condoms (scumbags), regardless of what orifice it was used to penetrate. The afflicted individual then consumes the condom to top off the delicious snack.
As she strutted down the sidewalk in her slutty attire, she thought of how great it felt to be the most popular scumbag slut in the red light district of town.

"Say, Doc, there's three rubbers in the vomit of that guy in ER room 5. This patient is a scumbag slut if I ever saw one."
by Rob Porter March 02, 2009

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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(n.) One who is obsessed or particularly infatuated with clitori of all varieties.
Suzie loves to lick clits 24/7. Man, she's a fucking clitoromaniac!
by Rob Porter November 27, 2007

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt