Service Direct (hangover can mean come down)
You know the morning after the night before when you wake up and your head is pounding, your mouth is like a camel's ass and your stomach is doing loops. If you haven't been sick the night before you are now and looking at food makes you wanna puke all over the place. You can't believe that this foul painful feeling could simply be caused by a few innocent sweet drinks so convinced you are dying you go on nhs direct.
After typing your symptoms into the search engine it will come out with an illness that matches but isn't a hangover. Perfect. Now you can tell everyone this is what is wrong with you making you the victim not the perpetrator and meaning you don't have to go to work and worry for 8 hours about if you are going to vomit on a customer.
Also good for finding illnesses to excuse feeling generally rubbish that will get you out of work/college.
*weak feeble voice* Sorry Boss, I won't be in today I have Gastroenteritis. It's like food poisoning but it's a bug, I'll be off a couple of days. I spoke to NHS Direct and they recommended complete bedrest Sorry. You heard I was in L2 last night, yeh I went out for one quick one but I felt so rough I went home early. Yeh I know it sucks, see you in 4 days time.
January 17, 2007