A cross between a bollocking and a Jackson Pollock inspired painting.
Think you've pulled? Frustrated that she's now got cold feet? Try secretly whacking off behind her and spraying her back with goo. The resulting pattern resembles a Pollock-inspired piece of art, but the look of surprise (and hopefully admiration) as she suddenly looks over her shoulder is even more priceless.
The Dane was mad as a brush, blowing hot and cold from one minute to the next. After 3 hours of wasted efforts, I decided to give her a good pollocking.