A completely drunk British tourist who has lost his passport and or his keys to his hotel while on holiday.
A level of drunkenness reserved for the very special cases where you lose all faculties; keys and passports included.
We had a distressed british national come in at 6am looking for his passport and his hotel key card after he pissed himself.
Did you see Brian last light? I can't believe he drank that much!
Yea, he went full distressed british national last night.
Hope he can find his keys; and a new set of pants.