5 definitions by RastaVari

Cockney Rhyming Slang for rotten dick.
Usually used to describe either a male slag or a rapey pervert who rubs himself etc. against vulnerable people
That guy's got such a Robin Thicke. He's been in every clunge in Cleethorpes

"Cor d'ya see that Robin Thicke at the fair last night?"
"Yeah. The filth nabbed him;hopefully he'll get chemical castratation so he'll stop molesting people"
by RastaVari October 23, 2013
A term that indicates something being utterly pointless, like a chocolate teapot, a man who is afraid of spiders or a Palestinian passport.

The phrase coming from the idea that the shaft, the length of the male member, is solely being employed for wanking and not for procreation.

The sin of Onan, or onanism, is not now inherent in its use as it is rarely used to describe actual masterbatory practices, but more usually the extrapolation of the term wank as a noun.

Whilst the term wanker is usually used in either vitriol or as a term of endearment, the word wankshaft always implies digust and disdain.
"Hey, isn't that Piers Morgan"
"Wadda fucking wankshaft"
"How did he even get a job over here?"
"Coz he was so useful uncovering War Crimes as editor of the Mirror they thought they'd put him to good use working out if The Hoff = "American's Got Talent" - its like algebra or summit"
by RastaVari October 26, 2013
When males' testicles or balls or gonads retract and shrivel. Sometimes due to cold or excitement but primarily in this case due to fear and anxiety.

Like two little turtle heads, connected by skin and sinew, pulling back into its/their shell.

Metaphorically similar to a poo shy turtle but technically, physically and emotionally a very different experience.
She was fun, interesting, sexy and his friends wanted to bone her, but the fact that she was clearly cleverer than him gave him a siamese shy turtle. Would she notice? Would she care if she did? Or, does the fact that even imagining approaching her makes his body eat his balls mean that he'll never have the courage to get close enough for his shriveled sack to matter?

"You know that Bobbitt story, right?"
"Awh, man, don't maaan. Giz me a siamese shy turtle just thinking about it"
by RastaVari October 23, 2013
When males' testicles or 'penis pals' retract and shrivel as if there were balloons that had met a needle. Sometimes due to cold, but primarily in this case due to fear.

The puncturing aspect of the aforementioned gentleman imagining his balls being stabbed with a sharp implement can often lead to a re-retraction.
"Oh baby, aren't you keen to have a go with this strap-on? I've ubed it well but you've still got punctured penis pals"
"What the f@£k are you talking 'bout?"
"You're balls look like a couple of balloons that have been popped by a pin"
"That's not really helping honey!"

She realised she'd revealed too much about her job in the STI clinic as she noticed she'd his previously budding sack had been replaced by punctured penis pals
by RastaVari August 16, 2013
Noun - The androgenic hair that grows on the upper thighs of post-pubescent humans (yes boys and girls, or men and women more appropriately - we've all got it, to a lesser or greater extent) that can look like it has 'escaped' from the pubic area.

Not to be confused with pubic bangs.

It complements and sits in opposition to the treasure trail.
After the bong incident in the tabloids Michael Phelps thigh burns were the least of his worries.

Ha - thought Julia Roberts - they're freaking out over armpit hair, what the hell would they do if they saw my beautiful thigh burns!
by RastaVari April 24, 2011

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