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9 definitions by Ralph Wiggum

 
1.
One of the worst actors of all time. He thinks he's the greatest man to walk the earth since Jesus. He often tries to attempt martial arts, but most of the time he cannot accompish much of anything because he's wearing tight jeans, a flanel shirt, and a very large cowboy hat. He starred in the Tv series Walker: Texas Ranger, where he can be found in the same attire as stated above. In this series, which has gone down as one of the worst TV series ever, and is only loved by gopher eating hicks and gold prospectors, Chuck Norris fights "bad guys" by methods including: kicking, punching, slapping, and occasionally shooting with varius projectile weapons. So basically the show comes off as a weak attempt to be MacGyver, only with less resourceful inventions, and a little bit less mullet. Other than TV Chuck Norris has starred in horrible movies and made for TV movies (The Walker: Texas Ranger Movie). In these movies he does pretty much the same actions as he does in Walker: Texas Ranger, however the outfits may vary occasionally (may I emphasize the occasionally). So in all, Chuck Norris is one of the biggest failures America has ever seen. I will conclude with the tagline from his movie "Sidekicks": "A dreamer and a champion. An unbeatable team, until his hero stepped out of his fantasies to fight by his side." Sexual fantasies? Yes, I think so. Gross. Thank you.
Bad Guy: "What do you want Walker?"
Walker: "Fifty years of your life"
*Bad guy slowly pulls out gun, Walker quickly pulls out gun and shoots him*

Asian Man: "I like your Ranger Walker."
by Ralph Wiggum March 16, 2005
 
2.
The Rorschach like shit stains left in ones underwear/panties after an (i.)inadequate cleansing of ones undercarriage. (ii.) Involuntary bowel evacuation. skid mark
Please soak undergarments with Spray and Wash(TM) prior to washing for all crotch art that is not gallery quality.
by Ralph Wiggum February 18, 2003
 
3.
Noun: one who claims that he can handle his meats, but after eating 1/4 or less of his meal, ends up asking for a Styrofoam box, or quite possibly, one of those Chinese restaurant box things with a handle.
What? That Malu couldn't finish his chopped steak! Three bites you say? What a doggy bagger.
by Ralph Wiggum December 01, 2002
 
4.
When someone reply's all to an e-mail sent out to the entire company.
Man, he just 1089'd that one!

Ralph wiggum is your classic 1089'er.
by Ralph wiggum October 28, 2013
 
5.
The coolest male on the face of the earth.
that guy is a tinkleman.
by ralph wiggum April 24, 2003
 
6.
A man whose created many work out videos including: Taebo, Boot Camp, and The Billy Blanks Workout Guide for Men Who Have an Extremely Small Penis. He thinks he's really cool cause he used to have a block cut. He is challenged often by fitness celebrity John Basedow who combats Billy by rubbing his abs. In all Billy Blanks is a big faggot and his love for fitness is only exceeded by his love for another man's cock in his ass.
"I'm a really big faggot" - Billy Blanks
by Ralph Wiggum March 16, 2005
 
7.
A man whose created many work out videos including: Taebo, Boot Camp, and The Billy Blanks Workout Guide for Men Who Have an Extremely Small Penises. He thinks he's really cool cause he used to have a block cut. He is challenged often by fitness celebrity John Basedow who combats Billy by rubbing his abs. In all Billy Blanks is a big faggot and his love for fitness is only exceeded by his love for another man's cock in his ass.
"I'm really gay" - Billy Blanks
by Ralph Wiggum March 16, 2005