V. The act of being forced to shoplift clothes, particularly shorts or underwear, because you sharted
in them while you were trying them on.
Store Worker - Hi, is there anything I can help you with?
Customer - Yes, is there a bathroom.
Store Worker - Not at the moment it is under construction.
Customer (Whispering under his breath) - I guess i'll be shartlifting then.
Brian was walking into Abercrombie and Fitch when he was overcome by the urge to poop. Brian asked the cashier to direct him to the nearest bathroom, but there were none. Brian was leaving to find a bathroom when he noticed an amazing pair of skinny jeans. He convinced himself he could hold it long enough to try them on. (KEEP IN MIND BRIAN WAS FREEBALLING
) When he got them on he felt a pressure, the skinny jeans had him in a trance and he thought it was just a fart. He released it but it was not a fart but a shart
/ poop. He couldn't put them back or purchase them because at the register the cashiers fold your merchandise for you so he was forced to Shartlift them.