3 definitions by R. Hitchcock

Top Definition
What straight guys and little girls both dream of getting.
Little girl to Santa Claus: I want Tits for Christmas.
Santa: You and me both.
Little Girl: But you've already got some.
by R. Hitchcock April 17, 2008
This acronym never was. It is an attempt to make an acronym out of the word FUCK, which origins date back several centuries and has always had a meaning associated with the sexual act, and this is the reason that it was taboo to include it in printed books; which has only made it more difficult to get to the origin of the word. The word may have been derived from a man named: "John le Fucker", a scoundrel and a cad, possibly even a sexual predator, as early as 1278. From this, others were compared to this man, i.e.: "You're just another fucker.", and also the reason prostitutes refer to their clients as "Johns". Printed usage of the current spelling dates back to a 15th century poem. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, called "Flen flyys," written in a mixture of Bastard Latin and Middle English about some wayward Monks. The relevant line (in B.L.) reads: "Non sunt in celi quia fuccant uuiuys of heli", which translated means: "They the monks are not in heaven because they fuck the wives of Ely.". Monks were supposed to be celibate (not engaging in sexual relations), hence the reason they would not be in heaven as the poem states. Ely, the town referenced in the poem, is a small town near Cambridge, England. The best acronym I've ever heard for F.U.C.K. is shown below:
I was once taught that F.U.C.K. stood for "From Understanding Comes Kindness", which is another way of describing the tender act of lovemaking.
by R. Hitchcock April 17, 2008
Flirting, maintaining a romantic relationship via a text message from a cell phone, an email, or a postal mail letter, such as pen pals or maintenance of a long distance relationship. Textual relations are often used when two people feel the need to carefully choose their words; when thought and careful composition of thought over a longer period of time are required; when the fear of spoken conversation may be misunderstood or taken in the wrong context.
I use my word processor to carefully compose my thoughts before sending my messages out to any of my textual relations.
by R. Hitchcock April 18, 2008

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