If friends spend more than 60 minutes unable to decide what to do, they must default to sexual experimentation.
Friend 1: Huh... I didn't know about rule 99.1.
Friend 2: Me either...
Friend 1: ...I'll get the Crisco.
A primarily liquid shit, (at least 80%), that comes out of one's asshole feeling reminiscent of molten lead.
These often occur a day or so after ingesting large quantities of spicy food, such as one might do in a Habanaro Pepper eating contest, supplemented with the ingestion of large amounts of liquid, such as at a Habanero Pepper eating contest. The result is an unusually liquidy shit that feel like someone is blowing out your pipes with lava, (technically magma, while still in your rectum).
Needless to say, these shits do not invoke the normal feeling of self-gratification that comes with dumping one's load. On the contrary, it often leaves the shitter's asshole with a terrible burning sensation. This is complimented by the fact that, due to the highly liquid nature of the shit, it oftentimes takes half a roll of toilet paper to clean up the mess, leaving the user with a burning AND raw asshole, as well as dozens of annoying dingleberries
. The shit is often discolored, and the aftermath is simply a disgusting pool of red or greenish-brown liquid in your toilet bowl. The stench, even with fans, can often last for 17-36 hours.
If you don't want to live through taking a liquid fire shit, avoid pepper eating contests, and large quantities of Mexican food.
A level above lolocaust, (although a lolocaust does not necessarily have to occur previous to the lolocalypse).
The lolocalypse is when something is so incredibly funny, it is capable of exterminating all humans on the planet Earth. Theoretically, the lolocalypse can only occur once, after which all humans will have been killed, and apes with rise to power. This is why it is referred to as 'the' lolocalypse, and not 'a' lolocalypse.
The 'lol' can also be replaced with 'lawl.' This simply make the word easier to annunciate the word.
Man that was funny. It almost started the lolocolypse!
Prepare yourself for this joke, guys. It could very well bring about the lolocalypse!
Being sexually attracted to the feet of dead, baby, hairless animals, who are covered in feces, and are on fire.
Jake is a fucking pedopodoacomopyrocopronecrozoophiliac. He needs to go see a psychiatrist that specializes in pedopodoacomopyrocopronecrozoophilia.
Pedopodoacomopyrocopronecrozoophilia is considered to be the most common form of sexual arousal.
A shit that refuses to let go of one's anus. They like to hang onto hair, cheek, and whatever else they can get a hold of. They tends to have a consistency similar to that of uncooked pizza-dough, and take considerable contraction of the sphincter to break loose. This often creates a huge mess, and requires copious amounts of toilet paper to clean up, leaving the bearer's asshole very raw.
They generally occur when the bearer hasn't eaten enough fiber.
Sorry I was in the bathroom so long. I was taking a wicked sticky shit! Also, somebody broke your toilet.
One more step above even the lolocalypse, (although the lolocolypse need not occur for Halol to take place).
Halol is when something is so incredibly funny, it wipes the galaxy clean of all sentient life. Only the Giggl'ns of the planet Roffal are known to have attempted to achieve Halol.
The word can also be spelled Halawl, simple for annunciation purposes.
Those damn Giggl'ns. If they achieve Halol, I'm gonna' be pissed!
The small, frail, yellow, but highly intelligent, round body creatures of the planet Roffal. The Giggl'ns are far more sophisticated in the ancient art of comedy, and they devote their life to achieving Halol.
Their bodies are round, and they have a small, ovular head with big, black eyes, and a perpetual, massive grin across their face, revealing thin, goofy looking teeth. They walk of large, flat, duck-like feet, and possess two frail arms, each with two, long fingers and a thumb. Giggl'ns are said to be constantly giggling very lightly, (thus, they are laughing literally all the time). They are around 5 feet tall, and are physically weak. They communicate with each other telepathically, although some high pitched squeals are used as well, (though they never lose their grin). Their bodies are completely yellow, with only occasional brown spots, brought about by age. They possess no hair, and never wear clothes. They're reproductive habits are unknown. despite this goofy appearance, they are far smarter than any human, but still devote their lives to achieving Halol.
They long ago used up all of the resources, (fossil fuels, soil, animals, plants, etc.), on the tiny land-masses of their planet, and have continued their work under the sea in massive bio-domes. It is unknown what they eat, as they are never seen doing it, and they might take in all their nutrients from their chemical-rich air, (those same chemicals cause their oceans and their skin to be yellow).
Their numbers dropped shortly before retreating to the sea, most likely due to a failed attempt at the lolocalypse.
Those Giggl'ns will pay for the tragedies we have endured...
~ Benjamin Franklin