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7 definitions by Public Enemy Number 42

 
1.
Noun. Also known as telescams and cold calls. When a salesperson calls you unexpectantly and offers you something you don't want or need, such as double glazing.

In the US and Australia, telemarketing is restricted and policed. In the UK, it is less controlled, because otherwise it would clash with the free speech laws.

Telemarketing is the bain of most houseowners' existences, and will guarentee you a place in Hades if you ever get a job in a telemarketing company.
"God, I only asked my girlfriend to sell her body for money, it's not like I asked her to go into telemarketing!" - Jeremy (Robert Webb), Peep Show
by Public Enemy Number 42 April 29, 2008
22 0
 
2.
Noun. When someone (usually a woman) is still hooked on the 1980s.

They still have frizzy hair, wear shoulder pads and listen to the likes of Rick Astley and Duran Duran.
Sheila is suffering from severe 80s syndrome. She still keeps calling Russia the Soviet Union.
by Public Enemy Number 42 May 03, 2008
17 3
 
3.
Comical saying. Means if your woman's flowing, do her up the arse.
Dave: Man, I can't have sex with Lucy at the moment, she's having her period!
Phil: So what? If the river's red, try the dirt track instead!
by Public Enemy Number 42 May 03, 2008
20 8
 
4.
Noun. Rubbish programs which are on television from 1am to about 6am. Nobody watches them, because most people are in bed that time, and the only ones that are up are either getting drunk in bars or working night shifts. Nevertheless, TV channels feel they must put on all of their reject programs, such as documentaries about police car chases and plastic surgery procedures.
I woke up the other night and couldn't get back to sleep, so I turned on the TV and watched five minutes of "When Penis Surgery Goes Wrong", and before I knew it, I nodded off again. Thank you, twilight telly!
by Public Enemy Number 42 May 12, 2008
7 0
 
5.
Acronym. Stands for Cornish National Liberation Army. Also known as the Cornish Republican Army (CRA).

A terrorist organisation that is against anything 'English'. Their purpose is to make Cornwall, a county of England, its own recognised country. Supposedly has received training from the Provisional IRA.

Claim to have around thirty members, although some people believe they consist of just a mad professor, two skinheads and an ex-British army serviceman.

To date, they have been responsible for arson and vandalism attacks against anything considered to be part of the English establishment, and for burning a number of English flags. Which goes to show they are one of the most laughable and useless terrorist groups going.
Ooh arr, I pissed on a bed of roses and kicked a bulldog today. Go, CNLA!
by Public Enemy Number 42 June 16, 2008
4 1
 
6.
Noun. Another name for a Police Community Support Officer (PCSO) of the United Kingdom.

Powers they posess include taking naughty people's names down, performing a "citizen's arrest", and calling for back-up.

Supposedly they are there to look out for the local community. But, seeing as this is the police's primary responsibility, they just seem to be another reason for the British taxpayer to be robbed of more money. Apparently though it looks good on your CV (because as we all know there is a real need for crime tackling skills in telemarketing).
Bradley-Lee: Aww look man, it's the filth! Better stop setting fire to this little old woman we've just mugged.
Lee-Bradley: Nah man, look! They is just a Glorified Traffic Warden! Come on, let's nick his hat!
by Public Enemy Number 42 April 28, 2008
6 4
 
7.
Noun. Cockney insult. Used in some films about London gangsters.
Jimmy: Oi, Gerald you tart! What you doin' sanny jim? You lookin' te get yersewf a fackin' slap?
Gerald: Sorry gav, please don't drown me in cement 'n' put me in foundations.
by Public Enemy Number 42 June 16, 2008
3 7