1. A Pile of Shit.
2. Bad, Bad, stories that give you nightmares about sparkly Vampires and shapeshifting werewolves.
3. Cause of a disease called 'Twiharditis' that creates obsession for a overly dramatic sex life, suicidal thoughts and the belief that there is a 108 year old Peado-Vampire-God that will love them forever. The cure is to lock them in a cold, white room for 200 hours, make them watch and read Harry Potter on the go (but not GoF film adaptation, in fear of a relapse at the sight of Cedric) and mak them come to their senses. If this does not work, starve them and read Harry Potter and the Hunger Games out loud continuosly. They should see the erroe of their ways, and return to normal.
If not, KILL THEM. Its the only cure.
Person 1: Wow, I love the Twilight Saga, its so good!
Person 2: OMG, die.