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3 definitions by PoleKat and SkodaBitch

 
1.
zif
short for "As if!" ... used as an exclamation of doubt for the claims of another. Derogatry / superior - the utterer of this phrase does not trust the judgment of his colleague, it is a sign of disbeleif which edges towards disrespect.
"Never mind, I'll try harder next time"
"zif"

"I'm the biggest beast in the jungle!"
"yeah right man, zif!"

"Tupac still lives man!"
"zif... you have to let go, man"

"I buy all me threads from Armani"
"zif - you looks like a chav from pahndstretcher"

"Honest governor I am not a 'omesexual, that was just an experiment"
"zif! you is a batty boy."
by PoleKat and SkodaBitch January 29, 2005
 
2.
When the declaration of ones aspirations is met with the curt reply of "zif", an expression of disbeleif, shot for "As if!". one has been "ziffed" in this situation.
"He said he was going to win the marathon tomorrow - I totally ziffed him, man!

"I told the boss i was going to straighten up and fly right - he totally ziffed me man, hes got no faith"
by PoleKat and SkodaBitch January 29, 2005
 
3.
A coloquial abbreviation of "As if I care", or "as if you care". Used to express disbeleif at the other's lack of consideration, or to express a lack of consideration of the other's predicament.
"i promise never to do it again"
"zif-i, you can do what you want, i don't care anymore"

"I hope you do well in your exam tomorrow"
"zif-u - you were totally against me going back to college"

"Hey how're you doing mate?"
"zif-u, you're full of shit"

"I've been getting these headaches every time you play your heavy metal music"

"zif-I, you don't think about me when you mow the lawn at 8am!"

or

"zif-U, you greasy haired mother"
by PoleKat and SkodaBitch January 29, 2005