4 definitions by Peter Gibney

Top Definition
Originally a psychological term indicating an empowered, self-reliant individual, this has evolved through misuse into a neo-antonym of 'reactive', and is used as such to emphasise the preferability of one attitude or course of action over another. It connotes alertness, awareness and preparedness, and seeks to dispel any conceivable impression of incompetence.

'Proactive' is interesting in that it is perhaps the classic example of the unnecessary neologism. It serves as an antonym to 'reactive', yet 'reactive' is itself the antonym of 'active'.

Arguably, since 'proactive' is now perhaps more widely used than 'active' for the specific purpose covered by the newer word, 'proactive' must be recognised as a legitimate word. The cult of hatred that has understandably grown up around the word can only help it endure further.
One is 'active' as opposed to being 'passive' or 'reactive'. One is 'proactive' as opposed to 'speaking English'.
by Peter Gibney December 20, 2006
Practice whereby, while masturbating, one calls attention to oneself with the aim of 'finishing' before being caught.
<fumble>Mum? C'mere for a sec <fumble>
by Peter Gibney April 17, 2005
A loose network of individuals, generally connected through online communications, dedicated to spreading the belief that 'online' poker is 'rigged'. The most common belief is that players are 'fed' above-average starting hands to make them play more pots, thus supposedly increasing rake for the site.

An objective analysis quickly reveals this to be unworkable. Pre-loading players with excellent starting hands would in fact *lower* rake overall. This is because such a practice would invariably cause play to occur over a small number of large pots, rather than a large number of small pots. Since most sites 'cap' the rake at a given figure (typically taking a maximum of $3 per pot regardless of size), this would be deleterious to profit. Additionally, after a small series of large pots, *at least* one person at the table will have lost all their money. Hence no more pots (and thus no more rake) *at all*.

The nonsensicality of the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group's beliefs is no deterrent to the promulgation of their credo. This is because these are, invariably, losing players, who do not wish to acknowledge that they have been repeatedly beaten in a game of skill by players whose skill is superior to theirs. It is perhaps a noteworthy comment on the human condition that such conspiracies do not exist with regards to other skill games where money is not directly used as a tool of play.

The Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group exists so that its members may continue to delude themselves about their poker ability, comfort each other over their soooooo-so rigged rivers, ignore pot odds and implied odds, and collectively justify committing mass credit-card fraud, since 'it's not stealing if they're thieves too'.
I made the nuts on the flop, checked, and checked the turn... this MOFO is there checkin' right back behind me... river... a DIAMOND omfg so f-in RIGGED, the guy had a FLUSH omg roflmao can't believe he HAD A FLUSH... NO F-ING WAY THE ODDS ARE LIKE QUADRILLIONS TO ONE I'm off to join the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group!
by Peter Gibney December 17, 2006
Crapfork n: Describes the opposite of serendipity. The 'crapfork' occurs when something you had been looking forward to is cancelled or turns out to be crap, or is in some way a disappointment. It can also apply to an unexpected misfortune of any kind. Etym: an undesirable piece of cutlery known as 'the crap fork'.
You get home from work, you're exhausted, starving, you sit down to a delicious meal - and you've got the crapfork.
by Peter Gibney April 17, 2005

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