3 definitions by Peter Buttram

Top Definition
Dr. Peter Buttram, urologist, proctologist, says:

I do NOT recommend anal sex. However, if you must...

1. Wash up before sex -- especially the anus.

2. Use a condom.

3. Wash up immediately after sex -- especially the anus and the penis.

4.Especially avoid Reverse Anal.
The correct order for triorafice sex is:

1. Oral (felattio, cunninlingus)

2. Coitus (penis & vagina)

3. Anal (penis in condom in anus)

Don't stick the tongue or fingers or unprotected penis in the anus.

Reverse Anal is:

1. Anal (penis in anus -- especially if unprotected)

2. Coitus (poopy penis in vagina)

3. Oral (poopy, pussified penis in woman's mouth.

Reverse Anal for gayboys is:

1. Unprotected Anal.

2. Oral.

DON'T BE A FUCKTARD!

Don't say to me, "Doctor, WHY did this happen to me?"
by Peter Buttram June 25, 2006
It is commonly said that Santa Claus only cums once per year, however, this is not true. Santa Claus only cums one DAY per year -- because his wife is frigid -- and that day is Xmas Eve -- however, Santa tries to cum AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE on that one day he has away from Mrs. Claus.
This is why every time Santa lands his sleigh down anywhere outside of the North Pole, you always hear him yelling out "Ho, ho, ho!"
by Peter Buttram November 21, 2006
For non-perverts, this means to "visit the proctologist".
As a man over 40, I have to lease a butt ram every 5 years.
by Peter Buttram January 19, 2007

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