7 definitions by Perv Johnson

The person who walks directly beside their companion(s) on a crowded, narrow sidewalk and are unconcerned that there is foot traffic approaching from the opposite direction. These bullies always take the inside track and try to act oblivious as they run the oncomer off the sidewalk completely. It is as if the sidewalk bully is making a nonverbal boast that they have a friend, and you, the oncomer, are friendless and therefore inferior. In reality, sidewalk bullies, like bullies in general, tend to have low self-esteem and few friends.
Boss: "Joe, why are your shoes so muddy?"
Joe, "Sorry boss, I was accosted by a sidewalk bully on the way in this morning."
by Perv Johnson October 08, 2010
Usually as the result of an acute onset of needing to shit while out in public, you desparately manage to find the nearest public restroom. You don't have time to fiddle with putting down the toliet paper so you employ the hover method. Unaware, you have developed a bad case of diarrhea since your last crap. Needless to say, you leave a messy situation for the next person to contend with, that is know as a Sloppy Joe.
Dayum, you should have seen the Sloppy Joe I left on the toliet seat at that Japanese restraunt the other night.
by Perv Johnson October 01, 2010
The condition when a man's underwear, usually briefs, have become so deteriorated on the back side that the material covering the ass cheeks has completely disintegrated leaving only the elastic band remaining. When exposed, the view from behind-to unwitting observers-appears like the wearer is sporting a thong.
Samantha: "I thought the plumber's crack was a nasty sight to witness. Yesterday, I saw a guy bend over at the gym revealing his man-thong."

Danielle: "Gross!"
by Perv Johnson February 12, 2011
Although it can be for checking the outcome of possible sharting experience, most frequently it is when you desparately seek the nearest bathroom solely to wipe your ass due to a greasy bunghole feeling. Often an emergency wipe is needed in hot/humid conditions and/or not wiping well after one's last shit, as skid marks will frequently be evident on one's underwear or toliet paper. Due to this action being one of those "unmentionables" common to mankind, there are code words for an emergency wipe that include "E.W.", "Edward William", "Prince Eddie," & "Eduardo Guillermo" (for Spanish speakers)
Hey man, sorry about the interruption, I had to go see 'Edward William' (code that I just took an emergency wipe). Did the waitress come by yet?
by Perv Johnson October 09, 2010
Reminiscent of Thumper the rabbit from the Bambi cartoon, it is the practice unique to elderly people in which they quickly tap their foot on the floor several times in rapid succession immediately prior to raising that leg off the floor so that they can quickly slide on that side of their underwear, pajamas, or pants before falling. Contradicting the apparent belief underlying this behavior, studies by gerontologists have concluded that the Geriatric Thumper Dance is mostly ineffective in preventing old folks from losing their balance.
Samantha: "Grandma, how long have you been lying on the floor this time?"

Grandma: "Sweetie, I'm so glad you came along when you did."

Samantha: "Please Grandma. No more Geriatric Thumper Dance, OK?
by Perv Johnson November 21, 2010
pronounced "anus-eyes-ed": An acute medical condition of the retina, not yet fully understood, and most often resulting in temporary blindness, that is believed to result from staring directly into a bunghole. Situations that may put one at risk of catching this "disease" are being a novice in locker rooms, nude beaches, nudist colonies, or a new proctcologist.
Dad: I want to warn you to be careful Sam. When one of the nudist's bends over at the beach today, be sure to look away. You definitely don't want to get anusized!
Sam: Ok Dad, I'll be careful.
by Perv Johnson November 01, 2010
The horseplay by jocks in the showers or locker room areas of gyms or workout places that under a different context might be considered homo or creepy. Such horseplay may include snapping of towels, sliding on the shower floors like it's a slip-n-slide, lathering one another up, and making incidental body contact during said horseplay. Often, sanduskies become more frenzied when guests are invited into the shower areas and even more particularly when those guests are minors.
Eyewitness: "Coach, looks like you and that kid were kind of being a little gay in the shower the other day."

Coach: "Na, come on man, we were just having a sandusky."
by Perv Johnson November 15, 2011

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