The medical term for the narrowing of an arterial road by coning off all but one lane thus slowing traffic to a crawl. A serious and incurable paroxysmal condition frequently presenting on a Friday evening when we're all trying to get home from work in the rush hour. Symptoms usually involve the pointless deposition of cones earlier the same day by highway maintenance crews having absolutely no intention of carrying out their work until the following Monday. As the disease progresses it becomes clear that their aim is to cause maximum buggeration over the nation's hard-earned weekend break.
Frightfully sorry, old girl. Stuck in a jam. M25's gone down with a bad dose of Acute coniform stenosis (ACS) so won't be home 'till late. Have my slippers, paper and a nice fat spliff waiting by my chair. Top hole and tally ho, what!
Funded by the UK TV Licensing fee, a vast tomb where members of the long-suffering public may come to pay their disrespects at the passing of the nation's most irritating celebrities, dignitaries and politicians. Principally those who robbed us of so much quality primetime viewing over the years now have a place of final rest where they might be remembered for the slappers, bell-ends and twats many of them came to be during their squalid and worthless lifetimes.
The likes of Chris Evans, Sarah Ferguson and Gordon Brown must surely be knocking on the arseholeum door by now. They've all been staining our screens for far too long already.