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1 definition by Papa Lithgow

A dirty device created by combining a wooden box about the size of a tissue container with holes cut in it covered with rubber from old mudflaps and filled with vaseline and grape jelly. the box is then connected to an old vacuum cleaner and is used by a dirty old man who answers questions on yahoo answers all day and is to large to reach his penis to masturbate. a lot of times he will convert his sons old nerf toys into butt rockets and divorce his wife for trying to stop him. he will also neglect his house payments and the bank will repo it however he will still stay down in the basement with his dirty little fuck box.
WIFE: "goddamnit Mike what the hell is that thing"
MIKE: "Fuck you laurie, I want a divorce"
WIFE: "It's like that thing is all that matters to you anymore"
MIKE: "It's the only thing in this life that gives me any pleasure at all. at least the fuck box can't ignore or deny my sexual needs. i need a woman Not a DISFUNCTIONAL CUNT. you can have the kids and the house just leave me my fuck box. Oh, yeah and the vacuum cleaner."
by Papa Lithgow February 16, 2011