8 definitions by Nonchalant Ego

Top Definition
A variety of cleverly so named dildos manufactured by Apple, which come in many colors, shapes and sizes. Not only does it vibrate it can also store and play itunes while masturbating. Earphones sold separately.
Steve Jobs just announced the new iCock today.
by Nonchalant Ego March 25, 2010
Captain Jean Luc Picard addressing Commander William T. Riker.
You have the bridge Number one. I have to go take a number two.
by Nonchalant Ego March 25, 2010
An iron rod used for smashing queers.
Gus: What's with the iron rod?

Brad: It's my gay bar. I use it when I go queer hunting. Wanna come?

Gus:No fuckin' way. You're on your own homophobe.

Brad: Fuck You!
by Nonchalant Ego March 24, 2010
A euphemism for Jean Luc Picard's penis.
Dianna Troy: ...and what happened.

Dr. Crusher: I played with Picard's flute.

Data: I asked the Captain if I could play with his flute, but he gave me a funny look.

Dr. Crusher and Dianna Troy: -Chuckles-

Data: I don't get it
by Nonchalant Ego March 25, 2010
Cue gay piano music.

Ray: Let's have sex.

Deborah: No.

Cue gay piano music.

The end.
Everybody Loves Raymond sucks.
by Nonchalant Ego April 03, 2010
A stay at home mom who can't cook, clean nor supervise her 5+ children. Her husband eventually gives up and walks, but not without paying her child support. She makes new friends who in turn take advantage of her and her money. She and her girlfriends smoke like a coal plant. She eats take-out or orders delivery. The entire house is a disgusting mess. There are cigarette burns in the carpet, many many old food containers, old moldy dirty dishes piling in the sink, stains on the wall and the smell of stale nicotine permeates the air. The kids are unwashed. Their clothing are hand-me-downs of various out-dated styles. She's on anti-depressants and whole other cocktail of meds. She writes many letters to Oprah asking for help and money, which all go unanswered.
Building Inspector: What the fuck happened to this house!!!!!??? It's such a pig sty.

Landlord: Canadian Housewife.

Building Inspector: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!

Landlord: Thanks a lot now I'll have to clean that up too.
by Nonchalant Ego March 25, 2010
Captain Jean Luc Picard addressing Commander William T. Riker.
You have the bridge Number one. I have to go take a number two.
by Nonchalant Ego March 25, 2010

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