A towering demented mammal-amphibian, native to but not limited to Australia (found on all 8 continents), having four legs, one of which shaped like a cage, the others of which shaped like sasquatch hands, but contrary to walking on all four legs it staggers on one leg in somewhat of peg-leg motion. It has a dirty beard, a snout like a vicious anteater, but yet eats no ants, a tail in the middle of its stomach where most would assume a belly-button would be, a tentacle riddled orifice that is capable of dismantling an elephant in .2 seconds flat. The skin of the buffer has a slimy texture that it sheds every other blue moon, but the reason it is classified as a mammal-amphibian is because it has the very hairy and dirty beard and scientists decided to classify as the first of the fusion class of the two species. It is a shade of blue. It is most prominently found in underwater caves but is also found on land in moist areas. The buffer is capable if ever feeling threatened it can project poisonous darts, but it is rarely threatened.
If you see a buffer in the forest, run like Usain Bolt to your nearest home medical office.