Baboon ass is an unfortunate case where your ass cheeks sweat and the wet hairs on your ass cause friction, which is a the pain felt as baboon ass. It's most common whilst doing activity, and in the summertime, where your body will naturally sweat more. Wiping your ass too hard can also result in this terrible sickness. The term baboon ass derives from the redness found on a baboon's ass, this same redness is a sympton along with a bloody great pain on your crack of the sickness also.
I can't play football today lads, i've got baboon ass.