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2 definitions by MtnDew23

 
1.
A martial artist action movie star with a face full of wrinkles, constantly squinting eyes, short black hair with a widow's peak and a dumb ponytail.

His movie career began with "Above the Law" in 1987, and throughout the 90s he starred in several more mainstream action movies. His career came to a doom in the early 00s, where in 2002 he made his last released-to-theaters movie "Half Past Dead" with rapper Ja Rule.

Through recent years, he's been making crap Direct-to-DVD movies, sometimes making up to four or five movies a year. 2010 saw the return of Seagal to the big screen...for Machete, in which he's the villain. Oh and he dies.

His movies are known for:
*His character either is out for revenge or has to rescue someone.
*The fight scenes have quick cuts, lots of obvious doubles, unnecessary close ups and the camera spinning around rapidly trying to fool audiences into thinking Seagal is actually hitting someone.
*Seagal requires a stunt double to walk.
*He can take someone's gun by barely raising his hand.

*He will say some stupid cliche line before beating the shit out of someone.
*His movie's plots are always "SERIOUS" dark and gritty
Danny: Wanna watch a Steven Seagal movie?
Marshall: Didn't that guy die from eating too many McDonald's?
by MtnDew23 January 11, 2011
 
2.
A Mexican-American comedian who was funny when he had a self-titled TV show. After the show's cancellation, he got a talk show on TBS and is now not only unfunny, but his voice is now all croaky and his hair got a little lame.

Popular for his phrase "I GOT THIS!"
I am George Lopez and I need some water, I destroyed my voice.
by MtnDew23 January 11, 2011