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4 definitions by Ms. Lacuna

 
1.
A person (usually a guy), that is genuinely nice and
mild-mannered, but is prone to bouts of assholery, jackassery and basic insensitivity.

Mostly, Simple Dicks are unaware of their apparent faux pas' and think nothing of them. They don't think twice about other's feelings and give the impression of either feigning ignorance or being simple.

Simple Dicks are not purposely that way. Usually they are the friend that says the wrong thing all the time. They have "Tsundere-like" qualities, but are more inconsiderate and insensitive.
Carmine: "Jesus man! Your such an ass. Why are you always such a simple dick? I know Janet can be a bit much, but why'd you have to say what you did? I mean, she just broke up with her boyfriend for shit's sake."

Lucian: "Oh well man. She shouldn't have broken up with her boyfriend. That shit isn't my fault. I could care less."
by Ms. Lacuna August 09, 2009
7 7
 
2.
Alternative name for "History."

Pronounced like History, except with an "Sh" added.

Basically, a Shitstory is a person's individual past or present past, that has been anything but decent.

A person that has a Shitstory, had an extremely rough and tumble childhood. They were either abused, molested, raped, had serious familial problems or the likes. Even those that had a difficult time growing up, due to the typicality of youth, can even have a Shitstory.

Shitstory doesn't just denote childhood. It also encompasses adulthood as well.
Dr. Tanner: "Come now Clareece. Tell me about yourself. Tell me about your family history."

Clareece: "You mean my family Shitstory?"
by Ms. Lacuna August 05, 2009
1 1
 
3.
Literally meaning the ass hole and how a person has never had anal sex. Behind-a-hymen denotes a person male or female, being a virgin to anal sex. Therefore, not having their ass (behind) hymen broken.

Adam Carolla was the first person to coin this term on his morning radio show and has used it a number of times.
Josh: "I tried to have anal with Teresa the other night and she got super pissed at me."

Corey: "No way!! She still has her behind-a-hymen at 24? There's just no way!"
by Ms. Lacuna April 25, 2009
3 5
 
4.
A Simple Bitch is the female version of a Simple Dick.

Simple Bitch can be applied to men as well. Calling a man a Simple Bitch is a more degrading term than merely saying Simple Dick.
Carmine: "You know, you've really done it this time! Stop being such a simple bitch and grow the fuck up already!"

Lucian: "Its good to finally know what you really think of me."
by Ms. Lacuna August 09, 2009
16 51