The only political persuasion left for free thinking people in the United States. The only viable political party left for libertarians who have brains enough to see that the Republican party has been taken over by greed-mongoring, war-mongering, closet-bigotted, crony-paying, corporatist assholes who are all too eager to cut your verteran father's healthcare, send your brother into battle without armor, strip your sick grandmother out of her medicaid coverage, and move your job overseas if can save them and their mega-rich buddies a few dollars.
Democrat is the designation of a political party that has sucked for a long time, but the only one left for anyone who thinks government doesn't belong snooping in your bedroom or in your church group.
Democrat is the only political label for anyone who gets laid on a regular basis. Because we all know that these stuffy no-dick asswipe Republicans aren't getting any. If you vote for bigger trucks and bigger bombs you must be compensating for something! And if you are a woman and vote Republican, you must have dried up a long time ago.
Democrat is the only way left to keep souless dry-balled pricks like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld from fucking it up for everyone but their mega-wealthy buddies - using their talking monkey George Bush and their token Afro-American woman Condi Rice to make it all sound nice to those who aren't paying attention.
Democrat - if you care about your job, your family, and our country - is the only label with hope anymore.
See that guy over there? He's sexy, a survivor. He can kick some ass if he needs to but doesn't need to be a blow-hard bully to prove himself. He actually gets along with people of different colors and ways of life. He doesn't stuff his religion down your throat either. He doesn't think that screwing other people out of what they want and need is always the right way to get ahead, even if it is the easiest. He's probably read a few books without being forced to by a teacher. He must be a Democrat!