Named after the famous Russian submarine, Red Octobers are those once-in-a-lifetime turds that block the toilet. You can't flush them, you can't deal with them in the normal way. Toilet paper is a serious no-no with regards to Red Octobers as this merely increases the "gross" factor by twelve. If you see a Red October, the chances are that you'll need to call the emergency services.
"Mum! Can you call the Fire Bridgade, we've got a Red October here! I've tried the shower head but that doesn't work. Make sure they bring their bio-hazard suits this time!"
In soccer: to punt the ball as hard as you can towards an open and easy goal, only to find your strike sailing over the crossbar by a country mile and ending up forty-one rows behind the goal. The higher the ball goes, the louder one should exclaim.
"HADJI!" - Mr Ben, upon witnessing David Beckham's penalty against Portugal during Euro 2004.
Acronym for Not On My Shift. Used to pass the buck and shift blame for an incident that you are directly responsible for but do not want to admit. Care must be taken when using the word as management will think you are muttering under your breath.
"Mr Ben, did you see who attacked Mrs Webster with the fire extinguisher?"