n. an individual who, when in an argument, just makes up statistics and quotes from authorities on the subject so they look correct
v. to make up statistics or quotes to appear more correct
n. Dan is such an ass monkey; there's no way that CNN had an exit poll that said that 87% of Americans want socialism.
v. I totally ass monkeyed through that test. There's no way Mrs. Clark will know that Teddy Roosevelt actually never said anything about anarchy's role in society.