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5 definitions by Mephist0paulus

 
1.
NPC
Any of a wide variety of unthinking, robot-like employees who provide the terrible customer service that defines many venues of one's commercial pursuits. NPC activity is varied, but includes:

-Responding to all questions with rote, scripted dialogue, whether it applies to the current situation or not.
-Attempting to continue with a procedure, even though it has become quite clear that a required piece of equipment is obviously not functioning, or absent.
-Generally refusing to recognize that the stimulus of their NPC behavior is a human being, and not another NPC.

Alternatively, an NPC is any automated phone answering system that attempts to do anything but connect you with the party to whom you most need to speak.
1. I've been on hold with customer support for over half an hour because the NPCs can't stop using the pre-scripted questionnaire long enough to know that my problem is not on their list!

2. Customer: Hi, can I get a diet coke and 6 orders of french fries?
NPC: Would you like fries with that?
by Mephist0paulus January 22, 2010
 
2.
A term used to describe the behavior of U.S. dignitaries, including presidents, who attempt to be unnecessarily friendly to the savage dictators in the Islamic world, hoping to gain favor with them.
Ahmadinejad says President Obama is no different than Bush. Wonder when all his Islamofellatio is going to gain us some goodwill over there.
by Mephist0paulus June 26, 2009
 
3.
When a fad or affectation has outlived its coolness, one can declare a moratorium on it. It's a polite way to express one's rage at seeing something silly continue in perpetuity.
1. White chicks with dreadlocks; I'm declaring a moratorium on that.
2. I'm declaring a moratorium on the faux-hawk. It's been co-opted by too many frat boys.
3. I believe it's time to declare a moratorium on the fart app for iPhone.
by Mephist0paulus June 19, 2009
 
4.
ニッポタク (nee-potaku)
This word describes a Westerner who is socially inept in (and sanctimoniously disdainful of) his own culture (most of them are male), and decides to go to Japan, hoping that his status as a foreigner will make him friends there. Most normal Japanese avoid interaction with nippo-taku, but there are many foreigner-loving Japanese who will encourage more nipp-otaku to make the jump across the sea.

Nipp-otaku usually marry a moderately attractive Japanese woman, and then do so much more than "go native." They refuse to acknowledge other foreigners when in Japan--instead, they regard any foreigners' lack of understanding of Japanese culture as a negative judgment upon them. Nipp-otaku insist on wearing traditional Japanese garb, even when no other Japanese are doing so, and often insist that their wives treat them like samurai. The basic nipp-otaku attitude attempts to show Japanese people how to be Japanese.

Imagine Sean Connery's character in "Rising Sun"--minus every ounce of coolness. Nipp-otaku don't merely assimilate into Japanese society. They insist on attempting to be Japanese to foreigners, while knowing deep within that the Japanese will always see them as foreigners. This creates considerable self-loathing, and becomes evident in their generally passive aggressive way of dealing with the world around them.
1) Jim: Hey, I just got a friend request from Anthony.
Jack: What? you mean that nerdy douche that always walked around looking like he smelled something rotten?
Jim: That's the one. He moved to Japan, and uhh, looks like he's trying to become Japanese.
Jack: lolz--nipp-otaku!

2) I've lived in Japan for over a year, and I can definitely say that the worst thing about living in Japan is the stigma on foreigners resulting from the nipp-otaku.

3) I'm a total Japanophile. I love all things Japanese, but I am happy with my own identity, and I hate it when people call me a nipp-otaku.
by Mephist0paulus June 25, 2009
 
5.
(n.): Any person who is well-read, articulate, and capable of formulating intelligible positions on a wide range of topics, but which happen to be demonstrably false. Derived from "Mensa" and "retard".
(Adj): Mensatarded
Dan: Having read Marx, and Rand, and Locke, and Smith, I remain resolute in my assertion that communism is a great idea that has never been fully or properly implemented.

John: Dan, if decades of evidence to the contrary combined with the hundreds of millions of dead bodies that go with those "poor implementations" of communism are not enough to convince you otherwise, I must conclude that you are, in fact, a mensatard.
by Mephist0paulus October 14, 2010