A battlefield 2 patch is similar to a computer virus. The patch slowly degrades the game into a heaping pile of crap. With each major match, a series of smaller hotfix patches are required to fix the many flaws of the major patch. Even after the hotfix patches, the bugs are still rampant.
"OMG BF 1.3 patch is out we're SAVED!!!"
"This battlefield 2 patch is a patch to patch the patch of the patched patch which needed to be patched after the patch before the original patch was patched."
The monkey in the middle is the person that is in the middle of two fighting sides. This person is friends with both arguing sides and wants to stay neutral but is eventually dragged into the fight, and one of the fighting sides become mad at them.
I feel bad for John, he just wants to have fun and not get involved in drama but he always becomes the monkey in the middle.