Fortress island in the centre of the Med. Together with Gozo and Comino forms part of Maltese Archipelago. Home to 380,000 Maltese and sun-burnt tourists. Highest density of churches and pre-history per sq km in Europe. Higher density of bad roads, great beer, fresh bread, corrupt politicians, entrepreneurs, building sites, five-star hotels, lazy fat cats and cars with 'I love Jesus' and 'Jesus loves me' stickers. National football team famously once lost 12-1 to Spain in a World Cup qualifier, seriously tarnishing reputation in the Netherlands, who suspect foul play to this day. Record for most air raids in World War 2. Somehow survives, despite thousands of years of turbulent history and no natural resources other than the general craftiness and stubborness of the nation.
I'm trapped on the constipated island of Malta. I don't know if I should escape or stay here for ever.
The day after the atom bomb, there were the first signs of life in the island of Malta.