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5 definitions by Matt Simmons

 
1.
A sudden and violent sickness with the primary symptom being total liquification and elimination of the entire intestinal tract over a period of days.

During ass flu the infected will experience defication with the consistency of burnt coffee every thirty minutes for at least three days. The accumulated stress will usually lead to an angy starfish with a peanut.

Ass flu is almost always contracted by eating at buffet restaurants frequented by mobs of geriatrics; Golden Coral, Fire Mountain Grill, or Luby's.
I didn't want to go Fire Mountain Grill because it looked like ass flu waiting to happen. When my friend Matt went there he got the worst case of ass flu ever. He said his starfish was destroyed by a peanut cluster.
by Matt Simmons October 16, 2006
 
2.
A popular restaurant with the geriatric crowd because of the denture friendly buffet selection. It is also the prefered habitat of the ass flu virus. Extreme caution should be taken when eating there, unless you have a colonoscopy coming up.
Dude, I got talked into going to Golden Coral at lunch. Now I'm felling scule. Before too long I'll have a raging case of the ass flu.
by Matt Simmons October 17, 2006
 
3.
Taking a piss in a urinal that has that pink cake deodorizer caged up in the bottom. You must exert maximum force so as to drill into the cake flaking off as much as possible during the piss session.

It is normal to have a goal in mind such as: I'm going to be first to bust through the cake, or I'm going to make pink lemonade.

Also known as "going to bust cake", "waging war on the cake", and "making the cake pay", and "ruining the birfday cake".
I'm looking forward to bustin' cake, my bladder is so full its making me scule.
by Matt Simmons October 17, 2006
 
4.
A pretender to the buffet throne, its like Golden Coral with a nice spit shine.
I tried out Fire Mountain Grill at lunch, it smelled like a nursing home in there. While I was eating some fat bitch was feeding her baby a bowl of butter. I'm sure to get ass flu after that one.
by Matt Simmons October 17, 2006
 
5.
When your lady has had multiple money shots to the face, neck, chest, neck and breast she will be looking something like a melted candle. Also known as Bukake.
Man, I just left your mom's house. We made her into a melted candle!
by Matt Simmons October 17, 2006