The way men who are doomed to be virgins forever pleasure themselves. The best way to do it is to use the forehand technique. Trust me, I know. Seriously though, if you can reach an orgasm, you are a true man. SO go try it, do it in front of your mother, your father if you're gay. Which i'm not. So i never did it in front of my father. Trust me.
Dude, while i had an orgy last night with 69 girls, you and your dad masturbated and 69'd. own3d.