SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm sick, Patrick. I'm going to the doctor.
Patrick: What? Oh no, you can't go!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why not?
Patrick: I know a guy who knows a guy who went to the doctor, and the doctor's office is a horrible, horrible place.
SpongeBob SquarePants: It can't be as horrible as the suds.
Patrick: Oh, it is, SpongeBob. First, they make you sit in a... waiting room!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Is that the horrible part?
Patrick: No, it gets worse. They make you read... old magazines!
Patrick: Then the doctor pulls out his stethoscope.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No!
Patrick: Yes! It's a device so sinister, so icy cold when it touches your bare flesh that... Pssh!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Aaah! No doctor! No stethoscope! No magazines! No Pssh! Patrick, I don't want to go to the doctor.