The stuff - mostly consisting of a wallet with credit cards, some documents, random paper such as a timetable or folded advertisments - neatly stored in the back pockets. At a certain point, the mass provides a hefty bulge on the buttocks, additional protection from blows as well as possible discomfort when sitting down.
Me: Man, can't you sit still, you're squirming all the time.
Friend: Just have to lose my ass armor. *pulls out a wallet*