48 definitions by MadamexXx

Doing something other people consider unproductive or something that really is unproductive, usually when you should be doing something else.
Syn: Procrastination, fucking off, wasting time, wanking, being idle, being a phony, bullshitting.
When I'm home sick, I spend all day dicking around on the internet.
I was dicking around when I had an epiphany.
She thought he liked her, but he was just dicking around.
Only a master can bring dicking around to a new level and turn it into an art.
by MadamexXx March 17, 2009
This is a shirt my first husband got second hand and I could tell why. As soon as he put that shirt on, it looked so bad that I was forced to shut my eyes because it was emotionally traumatizing to look at it. The combination of print, pattern and color produced such a cataclysm of visual assault that I needed six months of therapy to deal with it. It is the equivalent of seeing your loved one wearing a Jason from Halloween mask, which is almost as scary.
When my husband wore the birth control shirt, I knew that there would be no chance of him cheating on me. I was surprised it didn't render him sterile. It was one ugly-ass unflattering shirt. I threw it away and he divorced me anyway.
by MadamexXx March 12, 2009
Somebody who has no fashion sense or ability to match in an environment where everyone else does and being this way is social suicide. We used to say it in San Francisco.
That bootsy mother-fucker must be colorblind! Doesn't he own a mirror?
by MadamexXx March 06, 2009
1. When you are so addicted, you're jonesing for a sweet, carbonated, caffeinated beverage that bubbles sweetly down your throat and finally getting one is ecstacy.
2. You're in the middle of hot sex and all you can think about is drinking a soda.
That first diet Pepsi in the morning gives me a sodagasm.

I poured soda on his dick and then sucked it off because I was so thirsty and had a sodagasm.
by MadamexXx March 03, 2009
1.(males)When someone goes above and beyond the call of duty to do a cock block. This usually involves a second or third party to really make it extra awkward. This is, in particular just some guy trying to be a prick.
2.(females) Having to be an uber bitch just to get some guy to leave you alone.
Line at the movies. Male and female are dressed up and obviously on a date. Some dickhead is going on and on about how the girl is too pretty for the guy. He proposes to his friend that they kick the guy's ass because he's not good-looking enough for her; Lock, Stock, and Cock Block.
Girl: "Hmm."
Guy: "Can I get that number?"
Girl: "Rape!"
Lock, stock and cock block!

by MadamexXx February 28, 2009
1. Someone who has mastered the art of playing Tetris and has their name at the top of the list.
2. Someone, usually a man who knows the arts and positions of the female body like a pro for sexual pleasure.
3. A male or female whose masturbation technique has been perfected by the hand-eye coordination of playing a lot of Tetris.
4. A person who works at a supermarket bagging groceries.
At a twelve step program, I admitted to being a Tetris Pimp up to three times a day while wearing a carpal tunnel brace.
by MadamexXx February 24, 2009
This is when somebody's body is misshapen by poor eating habits or drugs, tacky outfit or outdated. It's somebody whose look you would change if you could.
I decided to go on a diet because I was starting to look like a Before Picture naked.
With that Billy Ray Cyrus mullet, he looked like a Before Picture.
Her yellow teeth made her look like a Before Picture.
by MadamexXx February 24, 2009
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