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7 definitions by Lost Almost

 
1.
Los Alamos Police Department (LAPD) is a department consisting of a variety of ape like mammals. These creatures are generally known for their low intelligence, small stature, arrogant personalities, and an uncanny sense of smell for underage trouble such as toilet papering houses. The LAPD carry the authority to arrest individuals for a variety of crimes such as J walking, laughing, sneezing, stetching, playing tennis, and reading. Studies have shown that the psychology of these individuals relates to that of a booger eating adolescent that was picked on throughout highschool and seeks revenge as an adult. Although the majority of the time, these individuals continue to get picked on as adults, the LAPD have found means to carry weapons to make up for the typical tiny weiners found on these animals. While not at work, these creatures can typically be found on their back with their legs over their head attempting to suck on their own weiners. See also short man's syndrome, sissy, dooshbag, vagina man and duck butter
Example 1: "I just saw a lizard eat an ant. We should probably call the Los Alamos Police Department!"

Example 2: "My girlfriend says my penis is too big; however, she used to date a guy from Los Alamos Police Department, so it's really not a big compliment."

Example 3: "You should graduate highschool or else you will end up at Los Alamos Police Department."

Example 4: "If you guys call me a girl 14 or 15 more times, I will join Los Alamos Police Department."

Example 5: "I wish I could read. Now I have to join Los Alamos Police Department."

Example 6: "Oh no, here comes the Los Alamos Police Department, pull a vagina man so they are not intimidated."
by Lost Almost August 16, 2010
 
2.
The medical condition that occurs from masturbating arduously to the women's tennis championships. During this session, most people are in the living room and have to bend over to masturbate, as not to get spotted through any windows. This creates an acute angle with the shoulder, elbow, and hand. This puts tension on the elbow and results in tendinitis or tennis elbow. Both males and females suffer from the condition as women in short skirts are attractive no matter who you are.
Tennis season has been rough. I have had to pop about 50 Advil this week for my tennis elbow.
by Lost Almost October 19, 2010
 
3.
This tyrannical creature exists in the USA. Its eating habits are hard-working Americans. The Obamasaurus hunts by hiding behind skinny, non-fruit bearing trees, called Polosis. Most of its prey laugh and state, "I see you there." However, the Rex has another trick up its sleeve. It offers them beer and lures them to his lair. At this point the Obamasaurus states; "Yeah, I am black...kind of, but how do you like me now?" This puts the prey in a state of confusion as they wander to their homes and find out that the Mexican Toothed Tiger has destroyed their habitat. Now the prey lies weak under the definitely fruity tree, the Cocobiden. This tree drops large seeds called Hilaryclintonhasnuts. After knocking the prey out, these Hilaryclintonhasnuts try to grow. They can't. They need to be fertilized by the BillClintonbangsfatties. It is said that if fertilization would occur an extremely ugly creature called the Chelsealookslikeahamster would kill them. Unfortunately the poor, homeless prey die.

Scientists have found little evidence of the origins of Obamasaurus.Scientists have theorized the traces back to the Middle East, Hawaii, and possibly Uranus. To survive the Rex, one must state, "I never saw you flying on the Terradactile around the statue of liberty for a photo op," while hiding the American Flag until further notice. The prophecy is that in 2012 three large meteors, "Life," "Liberty," and the "Pursuit of Happiness," will hit the earth destroying the Obamasaurus.
I pledge allegiance to the flag....oh my god! Run! It is the Obamasaurus Rex!
by Lost Almost October 30, 2010
 
4.
Jock itch is a medical condition that occurs around the testicals and weiner. Jock itch is typically found in males, as males have penises and girls have vaginas(See Great White Sharks).

The origin of the itch occurs as sweat, oils, and dirt are rubbed between the junk and the thigh. This forms "Duck Butter." Duck Butter, when at the proper temperature, is feasted upon by fungus. As we know, fungus grows in dark, moist, and temperate conditions. As this fungus grows, the leaves and branches tickle the the areas around ones genitals and creates Jock Itch.
A three-month loaf of bread looks like Jock Itch.
by Lost Almost August 16, 2010
 
5.
Duck Butter is the gooey substance that is formed next to the ball sack and in the butt crack. This is formed by lack of hygiene, long days of arduous sweaty work, and native americans. Duck Butter is made up of oil, sweat, dirt, and sometimes cum stains. This mixture of components under the proper temperature, humidity, and friction, forms a buttery substance that leaves stringers when your balls are seperated from the inner thigh, or when you spread your butt cheeks. Colors can vary from brown, yellow, white, to an occasional green. The consistancy is that of mucas.
Person 1: "We don't have any margerine for the grilled cheese sandwhiches."

Person 2: "I only have some Duck Butter; however, we should probably not use it."
by Lost Almost August 16, 2010
 
6.
The act of pushing ones weiner and balls back between his legs and squeezing his legs shut; hence, the appearance of a vagina as the weiner and balls are hiding towards the butt. Usually works better when standing, as it makes one stand awkwardly like an embarassed naked woman.
Tom pulled a vagina man on the bus ride. John is not gay; however, he said Tom would be a hot chick.
by Lost Almost August 17, 2010
 
7.
Phrase that you mumble at the end of ever sentence to add that special exclamation point that is hard to dictate in verbal communication. Also helps with distancing yourself from other individuals. The phrase is particularly effective in work or office settings.
Boss: Can you send out a memo to our group about the new direction?

You: Sure, I will send that memo tomorrow...in accordance to the prophecy.

Boss: wtf?
by Lost Almost February 08, 2011