1 definition by LordAzel

Top Definition
Quite possibly the most wretched place in the universe. Sometimes it is referred to as the Ninth Circle of Hell. Known for close minded/ignorant fundamentalist Christians and uptight ass Conservatives.
Home of the Westboro Church who are the biggest bigots in the world and are known for hating Roman Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Mexicans, Gays, Bis, Clowns in rubber trucks, tube socks, Mortal Kombat, and the freckle on my toe (essentially everything and everyone but themselves)

Schools have been known to teach such scientifically laughable beliefs as Unintelligent Design (which follows absolutely no principles of the scientific method). In English they will analyze a piece of text about as much as a semi-retarded wild raccoon. Teachers do not consider students learning needs and frankly just don't give a crap and will discharge all of their funds into sports/the football team.

There is also absolutely nothing to do in Kansas. There's a mall (also known as the Sahara) with hardly any stores and with hardly any people who seem to show the slightest semblance of being alive. Although, you might be lucky to see a bird fly by.

Also, do not intend on any cultural diversity in Kansas. Most of the people are Mexican (because they hopped the border) or hicks. As for the people being nice, I was able to witness a student get physically harassed for being an Atheist and another exiled from the town for being gay.

Also, there may be a few attractive girls but because of susceptibility to religious indoctrination their entire lives they you won't really have a chance with any of them.

There really isn't anything good about Kansas geographically/topographically. The sun is scorching. The grass is dry and lifeless. There's practically no green. If you've ever seen hell in Constantine, that's pretty much what it's like.

I have lived in Kansas. I would mainly sit in my basement and play video games all day out of extreme boredom.

What you learn from Kansas: A poor understanding of the scientific method and a poor understanding of the US constitution.


Ex. 1
Now Entering Kansas: Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

Boy: Daddy...I think we should turn back
Dad: It's too late son...we're already on the first level

Ex. 2
Student: But what about the King's intervention in public and private enterprise and the affect of a theocratic centralized government on the sociopolitical factors of civilized society?

Teacher: Don't you be gettin' smert wid me boi. We talkin' bout Jesus!

Ex. 3
Generic Guy 1: Dude, I'm going to Kansas for the summer. I'm so gonna get laid!
Generic Guy 2: Good Luck. Not only it is illegal to have sex in Kansas, it's virtually impossible...

Ex. 4

Student: I'm an atheist because I am a skeptic and believe we can explain natural phenomena and reality without resorting to the divine

Typical Hick: WHAT YOU BE SAYIN? THE POWER OF KRIST COMPELLS YOU AND WHAT NOT! (grabs object of considerable weight and chucks it at non-believer)

Ex. 5

Bobby: So what do you guys do around here for fun?
David: Fun? AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Bobby you crack me up...priceless...priceless...(wanders off)

by LordAzel September 21, 2008

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