A school six miles west of Boston named after the first Jewish Supreme Court Justice, Louis D. Brandeis. The girls there aren't quite so hot, and they did produce Richard Rubin (runner-up of "Beauty and the Geek".) School motto is "truth unto its innermost parts," although the phrase "Bran-Po can suck my nuts" is a close second, followed by "Aramark swallows" as a distant third.
Brandeis is a predominantly Jewish school (hence the monopoly on awkwardness), yet manages to be less financially endowed then the other filthy rich colleges within an 8-mile radius. That just means Brandeis can be just as smart as Harvard and Tufts without the fanciness or pretentious airs the Ivys and Seven Sisters take for granted.
If Wellesley College, is Hogwarts, then Brandeis is the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters--yes, it is populated by mutants, but as you can see, mutants can kick ass and be cool, too.
1: Dude, why can't Usdan be open earlier?
Reff: Hey Brandeis University student, would you like some cheese with that whine?
Non-Jew: Where's this party that everyone goes to on Friday nights?
Jew: It's called services?
Putting on Axe, or another similar brand of air freshener, on one's body in place of taking an actual shower with soap and water.
Kenny might be Guatemalan, but he alway seems to take a Puerto Rican shower before he sees Emily.
Bryan Singer's attempt to masturbate like a gibbon at the world's greatest superhero. Started off strong, but then fizzled out. Introduced a 5-year-old supertot, despite that being completely against the entirety of the Superman mythos. And had no resemblance to a normal relationship, just awkward stares. Oh, and basically had a one-trick pony of having Superman just lift stuff. A lot. Lame. Also was noted for creating a new alternative energy source, meaning electical cables strapped to Christopher Reeve's rapidly spinning corpse.
Q: What happened to Joe Simon?
A: He bit his own jugular vein after watching Superman Returns. He's in a better place now.
1: Wanna go rent Superman Returns?
2: Wanna lick my dog's balls instead?
1: Sounds like a good alternative.