Tired of foolish words like l33t and w00t? Ever find yourself wanting to purge netspeak from the earth like the plague that it is? Never fear, legendary wordsmith Eric is here with the cure. "w33t."
Simply bombard any offending netspeakers with phrases involving w33t, such as "I'm whole w33t, yo.".
With enough repetition, they will develop a severe allergy to any wheat-based foods and spontaneously combust the next time they eat a sandwich.
You will have rid the world of another insipid netspeaker.
"Liek omg i wuz doing this thing and some stuff and somebody sed something and i wuz like w00t and they were like omg and do u wanna cyber ASL?"
'I think I'll pass. I'm whole w33t, yo.'
A week later, she exploded after eating a cracker. True story.
As any rational, non-stupid person may have noticed, homophobia is excessively prevalent in our society. Therefore, in my capacities as The Legendary Wordsmith Eric, I have taken it upon myself to devise a new method of homophobe combat. In the event that you find yourself being compared to a bundle of sticks during an illiterate's tantrum, "Big Spicy Manhugs" are quite an effective tool with which to frighten and confuse your verbal attacker into submission.
Also, they make for an exceptionally excellent greeting, upon entering a chat room. By judging the reactions to "Big spicy manhugs for all!", you can often sort out those who are worthy of friendship, and those who are worthy of a good thorough taunting.
On a side note.. the ladies are quite fond of my big spicy manhug.
An Angry Child: '(ICP/Korn/Limp Bizkit/Good Charlotte/Eminem/etc.) fukin rules dont u agree?'
The Legendary Wordsmith Eric: "No, I'm afraid that I am not a (term for a rabid fan of said musical group), nor am I at all fond of (ICP/Korn/Limp Bizkit/Good Charlotte/Eminem/etc.)."
An Angry Child: 'wtf ur so gay ima kill u wit my hatchet u fag0rt!'
TLWE: "You, my friend, appear to have some anger-management issues. Perhaps you did not receieve enough love and attention, as a child.. perhaps you were sexually assaulted by a clown, and feel the need to lash out at strangers as an expression of your eternal shame. Either way, I think you deserve a hug."
An Angry Child: 'no dont u touch me u fuckin fagort!'
TWLE: "...A big spicy manhug."
An Angry Child: 'omg now i have caught teh gay!', at which point his feeble mind exploded under the perceived assault against his already-weakened state of sexual security.
Alas, this conversation isn't that much of an exaggeration, nor is it a rare occurrance.
Another fine creation from the legendary wordsmith Eric. In this era of silly people running about proclaiming themselves to be hXc, sXe, and using "Hardcore" as a new buzzword, I've decided that the world needs 'Tardcore' to define the whole lot of them. 'tXc' is an abbreviation of this wholesome and utterly excellent new term, and is not to be confused with 'xtc', a drug that stupid ravers use. Ravers are tXc.
"Dude, wanna be l33t and play this totally hardcore game?"
'No. You're tardcore.'
"Omgwtfapplesauce, you've slain me with your amazing insult. I am dead. Avenge me, my brothers!"
Discovered by The Legendary Wordsmith Eric during an archaeological expedition to the darkest corners of the internet, this singular entity known only as Lord Omg'Wtf is revered by several degraded and nefarious cults as the God of the Internet.
It is prophesised that Lord Omg'Wtf shall one day rise from his digital crypt, to spread madness and mayhem across the land. As his influence grows, those who fall under his command will forever speak in his dreaded tongue, known by his initiates as "L337".
Chain letters are His Unholy Gospel;
spam is His Wrath. Beware the accursed sigil of the Omg'Wtf cult, a curious inscription consisting of a colon and a single parenthesis.
These cults are known to engage in orgiastic license during their worship of His Icon, a pixel-based sculpture depicting His faceless, sickly-yellow bipedal form running, nay, chasing his prey on the Day of His Resurrection.
All Hail Lord Omg'Wtf, that we may be spared His Wrath!
We offer this sacrifice of proper grammar and spelling in His Name!
The extreme new word craze that's sweeping the nation! Created by the legendary wordsmith Eric.
It can be used in many ways to spice up a sentence and generally make the user sound super awesome.
"The fool hath said in his heart, 'There is no Bemdarg'". - Book of Bemdarg
"What? Bemdarg isn't a word." - Fools.
"Bemdarg is the greatest word ever." -
"Holy Bemdarg!" - Awesome people say things like this.
Eric P. Has no life!
Those who pretend to be me shall surely perish.
I'll smite you, you filthy bemdarg. Don't sass me, asshat.